Busting the Illegal Weddings
by Trouble Kelp
Summary: Holly Short is trying to cope with office pressures, ie. her boss: Commander Julius Root. She finds out she has a half brother. Then the Commander collapses. When the LEP gets a tip off an... interesting... mission follows. [HollyRoot]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

A/N: it's depressing writing disclaimers. Oh well. This s a random story that popped into my head, I have no idea what it will end up like because I never stick to my plans. Please review and tell me what you think, I don't care if you think it is the worst thing since sliced bread. And don't think I'm abandoning my other story for this. This is just what I am writing while I work out what should happen in my other story because I didn't stick to that plan.

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_This is set after Eternity Code but before Opal Deception… How could he kill Julius, not that I believe he is dead, there has to be some loophole._

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**A Half Brother, an Ulcer and Illegal Surface Weddings**

**Chapter 1**

Holly Short rolled out of bed. She still missed that mud boy, not that she liked him or anything, but when he was around Commander Root always had someone other than her to yell at. Now that mud boy was mind wiped Root was back to yelling at her for every little thing she did. She hadn't had nearly as many surface assignments as Captain Vein, and only had enough backed up paper work left for one more week. She never bothered to do her paperwork, so she usually had about six months to do at one time. That was how few active jobs she had been given since Fowl's latest 'adventure'.

She had even given up being late because of the Commanders new-found nastiness, he had made her work an extra shift for no pay after she had been late for the tenth time in a fortnight.

Switching off her environmentally friendly alarm clock she tumbled into the shower and washed her spiky auburn crew cut hair. The water was warm today, as usual; one of the two perks of living underground. The other being no mud men, hence no Artemis Fowl.

As she pulled on her jumpsuit she thought about how much she loved her job. She lived for the chance to serve the People, just as her now deceased father had done.

On her way to the door she grabbed a nettle smoothie from her fridge. Just as he was about to open the door a knock sounded on it.

Major Trouble Kelp had moved into the apartment across from hers about two months ago and knew what a hard time she got from Root. They were great mates so every morning he would make sure she was awake, he didn't want to see her get in any more trouble.

'Hey,' said Holly as she pulled the apartment door open, grinning at the sight of Trouble.

'You're actually up this morning Holly!' exclaimed Trouble, surprised.

'Yea,' grinned Holly sheepishly.

'Root's gonna think you're ill.'

'I know, I think I am.'

'Haha. Don't ruin it Holly. You gonna walk with me?'

'Sure,' said Holly as she grabbed her ingoflow (like cashflow or eftpos) card and shoved it in her pocket.

The two walked in silence to Police Plaza, and both were amazed to find that they were ten minutes early.

Unfortunately for Holly the very corner of her ingoflow card was sticking out of her pocket. The all too familiar cry of 'SHORT, GET IN HERE!' erupted from Commander Root's office.

Trouble looked scandalised as Holly drew a breath, made her height of one metre as tall as possible, and walked into Commander Root's office.

'SHORT WHAT IS THAT STICKING OUT OF YOUR POCKET BECAUSE IT IS CERTAINLY NOT YOUR UNIFORM!' erupted Commander Root.

'Sorry, sir, it's my ingoflow card. I won't let it be seen again sir.'

'I'm sure you won't Short. Consider this your warning against not wearing the correct uniform.

Private Verbil chose that moment to walk past the Commander's office wearing a bright pink bandana (no one will ever be able to explain why, it's just Chix Verbil). Commander Root conveniently ignored him.

Trouble was standing outside Commander Root's office as Commander Root had wanted to discuss something with him that morning, and was listening to Root yell at Holly. He had never understood how Root could be so sexist. He heard Root give Holly a warning for not wearing correct uniform and saw Verbil walk past. He saw the Commander look at Verbil, then turn back to persecuting Holly. He could not stand it anymore.

'Commander Root, sir. I suggest you stop persecuting Captain Short and start enforcing rules on the male officers,' said Trouble loudly, stepping into the office.

'And I suggest, Major, that you don't tell me how to treat my officers if you value your rank. Or would you prefer to be Private?'

That statement stung Trouble. He had fought hard to get his rank.

'Just leave it Trouble, it doesn't matter.'

The defeated tone of her voice cut Trouble deep, and even Commander Root looked up, worried at Holly. Both were surprised to see her on the verge on an emotional breakdown.

'Short, what's wrong?' asked Commander Root. For the first time he actually sounded worried.

'Nothing sir,' squeaked Holly in a much higher voice than usual. 'Permission to return to my paper-work sir?'

'You must nearly be done on that Short. But permission granted. Maybe we should fine an active assignment for you…' the Commander mused. But as quickly as that kind moment had come it left him. 'But not today Short, get to work, oh and send Verbil in here.'

Trouble caught hold of her arm as she left the room. She looked up into his face.

'You O.K.?' he muttered.

'I'll live.' With that she walked out of the room.

As soon as she was out of the room Commander Root turned to Trouble.

'I'm worried about her Kelp, you know her better than me. What's wrong with her?'

(A/N: The end of the first chapter. Please review and tell me what you think. I don't care if it is the worst thing you have ever read. And please suggest a better title for the story. I'm bad with titles. Anyway thanks for reading. Please review. The next chapter will be longer and will be posted shortly. Thanks.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

**WARNING: **OOC very very certain in some parts of this story I think.

A/N: This is a celebratory update. Of course it was going to me celebratory of my house winning the house music cup… but we came last. Oh well, it can be celebratory of the school being 58 hehe and the ritual chocolate cake that occurs every year (free!). So anyway a celebratory mid-week update because of that. Generally they are going to be once a week updates - Friday nights here in NZ. Enough rambling.

_Review replies:_

_Justin -_ hmmm nothing life threatening is wrong with Holly.

_pink flamingo girl -_ thanks. I try but I don't pride myself on my alertness. Thanks for the tip though.

_Ph33r the island ona - _thanks. Hmmm I highly doubt that's the pairing. To my eternal shame I had a moment when I wrote this, and wrote it to a different pairing, though the only pairing I truly agree with is TroubleHolly. I wouldn't post this story but it's already written so I suppose I might as well. The next thing I write will be TroubleHolly, my other story is TroubleHolly. I am eternally shamed. But TroubleHolly is the best pairing.

_k ­-_ thanks for being honest. I never expected it to be really good or anything. Action will come; I find that the first couple of chapters I write usually are very rambly.

_sergeantstan -_ Must have hope. Root is one of my favourite characters, although I think he becomes quite OOC in this story. My bad. Not H/T sorry…

_---­ - _thanks.

_Black Aliss - _do you mean he's OOC? That's going to probably be the case is parts of this story. This isn't what I would usually write it's what I had a random 'hmm I might just write that even thought it's not my brightest idea ever' moment.

_DreamingCrow_ - thanks so much!

_Sqarecool321 - _sure.

Trouble couldn't keep the venom out of his voice. This guy sat here every day and turned a beetroot colour as he yelled at Holly, now he had the nerve to say he was worried about her.

'What do you think? You bloody yell at her every day for the stupidest little things and let that prat Verbil get away with anything and everything. You put her under so much stress she now doesn't even sleep in anymore. I have no idea what she eats but I haven't seen her eat properly for six months. You haven't given her a surface assignment for Frond knows how long. She probably has no magic left after you made her take that healing course, like she would ever want to be a nurse…'

It was at that point that Trouble ran out of things to say about horrible Root was to his best friend. He fell silent, glaring at Root. It was then he noticed how old and fragile Root looked.

Root took a deep breath to answer, but was interrupted by a beeping issuing from somewhere on his highly messy desk. A screen crackled into life on his wall. Foaly's face appeared on the screen.

'Hi Julius,' but Foaly was interrupted.

'DON'T CALL ME THAT PONY-BOY,' Commander Root was already turning his trademark beetroot colour.

'Don't call me that Commander, sorry. Anyway we have a rouge Goblin near E1. No sleeper implanted. Nothing major but he's above ground. We should send one member of recon and one of retrieval to sort it out.'

Root looked like he was thinking. After about two minutes he made his decision.

'Right Kelp, get Short and sign yourselves out a couple of pairs of wings. Go topside and get the goblin. Take him back to E1, I'll have someone waiting there for you. They can take the goblin. Then take Short, it's a full moon tonight, the two of you can complete the Ritual. Our meeting can be postponed 'till tomorrow. Enjoy yourselves.'

Trouble couldn't believe it. Julius had actually given Holly an assignment.

'Thank you sir.'

'Don't waste time on thank you's, get going.'

'Yes sir,' said Trouble as he left the room to give Holly the good news.

Commander Root turned to Foaly.

'She'll be pleased,' said Foaly.

'She better be, why does she think I don't like her.'

'Maybe you shouldn't be so hard on her, she just wants you to respect her.'

'But I know she can do so well, I want her to be her best. I can't help but notice her.'

'Be nice to her for a change, she's trying to change for you, it doesn't suit her.'

'She's just an officer and she should be doing her best.' With that Commander Root terminated the link.

……………………………………………………………..

Holly had trudged down the hall to her office. She was determined to finish her paperwork, just to spite Root. She was shaking. She had had enough. She had no magic. She needed to get above ground.

Angrily she grabbed her paperwork and began doing it at top speed. Her one week expectation had been for her usual speed at doing paperwork. When she found motivation it would only take her a few minutes. She finished at a great rate of knots, it only took her half an hour. She was just leaning back in her chair and wondering what to do with the rest of her paperwork-less day when Trouble knocked on her cubicle door.

'Why aren't you doing your work?' he asked curiously. He knew very well Holly didn't want to get kicked out of the LEP for not doing her work.

'Finished,' said Holly proudly.

'Good, well we have an assignment. Got to find a rogue goblin, no sleeper. And Root said we can do the Ritual. It's a full moon tonight. Let's go get some wings.'

Having 'stolen' the best wings on Foaly's rack the two of them proceeded to the chutes. Foaly met them there.

'Hey you two. I've got some good news for you; I've managed to modify a pod to take two. A pilot and a passenger. It might be a tight fit but it is perfectly safe.'

'Great!' said Holly and Trouble together. Neither wanted to take a shuttle but both knew it was too dangerous for two pods to go on one flare.

'Holly can pilot,' said Trouble. He was pleased to see Holly's resident grin back in place.

Holly and Trouble climbed into the pod and were strapped in. There was nothing spectacular about the pod ride but both found it was much more enjoyable when you knew you were not alone. They were both soon emerging from the pod at E1.

'Foaly,' said Holly into her helmet mike, 'can you track our runner for us?'

'Sure thing sweetie,' maps appeared on the visors of Holly's and Trouble's helmets. There was a moving red dot on each of them. Thankfully it was moving away from any mud civilisations. 'Just follow the red dot and it will lead you straight to it.'

'Holly,' said Trouble, 'you do realise that as the senior officer I should be getting this information, not you?'

'Sorry,' Holly grinned sheepishly, 'it's just so good to be back in the field.'

'Don't you two waste time talking, get going,' said Commander Roots gravely tones through their speakers.

'Whoops,' they muttered in unison as they fired up their Hummingbird Z1's and programmed the co-ordinates into their computers. They zoomed in on each other channels and bean a private conversation as they waited for the wings to take them to their quarry.

'Root was genuinely concerned about you, you know.'

'Yea right, you and I both know he hates me.'

'He gave you this assignment.'

'Notice how easy it is?'

'It's still an assignment, and you get to complete the ritual.'

A/N: That's the end of that chapter. Please review. Remember I will be updating of Friday nights here in NZ.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

A/N: this is the third chapter. It is Friday night here in NZ, therefore update day. I hope anyone who is reading this enjoyed the celebratory mid-week update. Hehe my school was on TV - something to celebrate. Hope you like this chapter, please review.

_Review replies:_

_potter-Dork: _Yes, you are. Thank you. 'Next week' has come quickly, considering that was a mid-week update since it was a school birthday. But it will be a week before the next update, unless I have something else to celebrate.

_sergeantstan: _thanks. Just warning that as the story progresses the characters get more and more OOC, that's all.

_sgarecool: _okay, I will not be one of those people who gives up on a story because I have already written this. Each chapter is 3 pages in Microsoft Word. Merci.

**Chapter Three**

'Oh joy.'

'Holly, please.'

'Can we go and give the mud boy his memories back? At least then things would be interesting.'

'No Holly, we can't. Just be happy to be above ground, please.'

'Yay, we are away from Root.'

'I honestly don't know why I'm your friend if you are this ungrateful.'

'Ungrateful for what?'

'Nothing.'

'What did you say to him?'

'Nothing.'

'You persuaded him to give me this assignment, didn't you?'

'No.'

'Spill.'

'I didn't persuade him to give you the assignment. I told him to stop persecuting you, I might of mentioned you had hardly any magic, then this came up and he gave it to us.'

'You told him what? How could you tell him I had hardly any magic?'

'He would have noticed that you wrapped yourself in cam-foil.'

'That's beside the point.'

'Holly, be calm. We're nearly there.'

Unbeknown to them Commander Root, using the threat of removing carrots from the cafeteria, had forced Foaly to hack into their secure channel so he could listen to their conversation. He knew he would come into it somewhere. Foaly wouldn't have done it if they hadn't both signed contracts saying anything they said at work could be listened to by the Commander if they wished. They had obviously forgotten that clause in their contracts.

Commander Root listened silently to their conversation; he got paler by the second. Holly so obviously hated him, it was scary. She was glad to be away from him, and would bring back that mud boy just to make things interesting. She thought he hated her. After he tried so hard to do the best for her. After he cared so much for her.

Foaly was looking at the Commander with concern. He was getting paler by the second. This was extremely odd for him. Every time Holly said how much she hated him he would give an involuntary shudder. Root was stressing himself out too much. Why didn't he just ease up a bit or admit he liked her?

Finally the Commander seemed to come to his senses. He leaned over to the mike and said into it, in a much quieter voice than usual, 'Short, Kelp, you are approaching the runner. Proceed with caution.'

'Yes, sir,' came the two replies.

'I hope he didn't hear our conversation,' said Trouble laughing.

'Oh Frond, the clause in the contract,' whimpered Holly, paling.

It was then that Trouble remembered the clause that let the Commander listen to any of their conversations; he knew Foaly could have easily hacked into their channel. He understood why Holly was pale; this could be the last straw for her career if the Commander heard her.

The Commander however, did not comment on the conversation as they approached the runner. So they hoped he had not heard.

This was driven from their minds as they approached the runner. He had chosen a very good place to hide, it was a bush area where mud men often hunted deer. If they didn't know better they would have sworn the goblin was setting them up for ambush, but there was only one goblin according the sensors and besides, goblins weren't that smart. Not that they hadn't been outsmarted by goblins before. But that was with Opal Koboi's help, and she was in a coma. So they both proceeded towards the goblin.

To be safe they decided to shoot the goblin from a distance. Their weapons were set to stun. They wouldn't do any harm. And besides, better safe than sorry.

They were right to hold back. The laser blast from Holly's gun simply bounced right off of their quarry. Surprised, Trouble tried to take a shot. His bounced off too. Then suddenly crossfire of mud-man bullets erupted exactly where they would have been if they had gone in closer.

The shooting ceased and they saw several puzzled mud men in hunting gear step towards the now dead goblin.

'Runner dead. Possibly hostile mud-men looking at goblin. We are unsure what caused the laser to bounce off of goblin,' reported Trouble into his helmet mike.

'Right, there is nothing you can do for the goblin. You will be required to wipe memory of this incident from the minds of the mud-men. First put them under the mesmer, do you have enough magic Short? Find out what they were doing. Destroy the body.'

Holly and Trouble drew deep breaths. They landed and drew their weapons. Holly threw off her cam-foil and Trouble unshielded. The hunters turned towards them. As soon as they saw the drawn guns in the elves hands they dropped their guns and raised their hands with the universal sign for 'look, I'm not holding a large murderous weapon'.

The elves stepped forwards. They saw what had caused their laser bursts to ricochet off of the goblin. It was trapped in a net made of fishing line like rope.

Trouble turned to Holly and said in gnomish 'I don't think it was an ambush, I'll put the mud-men under the mesmer though.'

'Affirmative.'

He turned to the mud-men, and asked in a mud man tongue 'Vous parle Francais?' (_English translation: You speak French? There is no accent under the c in Francais because I don't think it will show.)_

When they shook their heads he asked in English 'You speak English?' The men nodded.

Having established the language they spoke he layered his voice with the hypnotic mesmer. 'What are you doing here? What happened? Tell me everything.'

A/N: The end of another chapter. Please review. Hope it was OK. Next update on the next Friday night here in New Zealand unless I randomly decide to update for celebratory purposes, which is highly likely.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

A/N: Introducing today's chapter. Friday night here in New Zealand. I'm glad that a couple of people are reviewing, but I know for a fact (thanks to those handy little hit counters) that less than 6 of the people that visited this chapter reviewed. I am not impressed. I will however, continue to update on Friday nights, because I said I would. Please review people. I guarantee that if I discover that I have got 25 reviews on the chapter posted I will update early, as soon as I learn this fact.

_Review Replies:_

_Potter-Dork: _Thanks. The pairing will be revealed in the next chapter. It kind of becomes more obvious.

_sergeantstan: _That pairing is becoming obvious. There will not be much point hiding it after the next chapter.

**Chapter Four**

The men, being under the mesmer and having the weak minds commonly associated with hunters were all too happy to comply. The largest man who was obviously their leader told the story.

'We're hunters sir, honest. We saw this thing trapped in out net and came to shoot it. Just as we got here it emitted a couple of flashes of light, well the trees did and they bounced off of it. We were scared so we shot it just to make sure. I don't know what it is sir, I've never seen anything like it in me life. Of course I've never seen anyone like you either, or heard such a beautiful voice, like a choir of angels it is. We are only hunters sir, sorry to offend you.'

Trouble held up his hand to stop the flow of explanations. He knew enough. This was not an ambush, just a simple misunderstanding that had cost a stupid goblin his life. The humans had obviously not been under the mesmer before.

He told Holly this; she nodded and pulled a bottle of acid out of her pocket. She stepped towards the body and tipped the acid over it. In seconds all that remained was a gently bubbling pool of acid, seconds later not even that. The men looked scandalised as though Holly herself had murdered the goblin. Their faces were wiped blank again as Trouble said 'You do not care about that. You will submit willingly to this mind-wipe.' The men nodded and sat down, wanting nothing less than to comply.

Between them Holly and Trouble had wiped the incident from all of the mud men's minds in less than fifteen minutes.

'Good Major, well done Captain,' said Roots voice from the speaker, 'now go and complete the ritual, I don't want to see either of you until you are full to the tips of your ears with magic. Oh, and Major Kelp, heal that cut on Short's arm. The pain scale is pulsing, it's annoying.'

'You're hurt Holly? Why didn't you tell me?'

'It's nothing, honest.'

'Sure,' mumbled Trouble as he grabbed Holly's arm. She struggled but he held her firmly. 'Just let me heal you, then we can go.'

'Fine.'

'Heal,' he muttered and blue sparks cascaded down his fingers and knitted her cut together, he didn't notice the one stray spark that floated towards her leg.

'There, that wasn't so hard now was it Holly?' said Foaly's voice.

'Let's just go,' muttered Holly as she and Trouble took to the sky and did a search for magical hotspots.

'Let's just go to Tara. It's closest, then we can get magic back sooner.'

'No, Holly, you know every hippie fairy will be dancing around there tonight. It's only half an hour longer to that secondary sight, let's go there.'

Trouble was surprised to see Holly stiffen at this suggestion, also to hear how tight her voice sounded as she answered him.

'No, not there. Let's go to that one,' she said as she pointed to a site three hours flight away.

'Holly, you're being silly, you just said yourself you wanted to get your magic back quickly.'

'Kelp, go to Tara,' interjected Commander Root.

'Why, sir?'

'Because you insensitive jock,' Foaly this time, 'that secondary site you suggested is where mud boy kidnapped her.'

Realisation crossed Trouble's face and he said quickly, 'Sorry Short, let's get going to Tara.'

The rest of the journey passed almost in silence. Trouble seemed to know that Holly wished to be left alone. At one point Commander Root interjected, 'Holly…' he began to say.

'No sir,' she interjected over him and he fell silent.

When they landed at Tara Holly stumbled, a look of pain crossed her face, unfortunately Trouble was too busy grabbing her arm to steady her to notice this.

Without showing him her right leg she bent over to pick up an acorn. On her left side Trouble did the same.

The journey back to E1 to plant the acorn passed in total silence, Trouble didn't notice Holly wince when her leg brushed a branch as she touched down.

Holly immediately dropped to her knees and planted her acorn. Trouble did the same. He stood up and turned to see Holly's leg surrounded in blue sparks. Intrigued, he turned on the dim lights and saw that her jumpsuit had a large gash in it and was stained red. Holly was very pale, the scar on her leg was fading, but he could see it had been deep. Soundlessly she bent down and planted the other acorn she had picked in the ground. She was now full of magic.

She looked like she might faint, so Trouble moved forwards and grabbed her arm to steady her.

'Why didn't you tell me Holly? I could have healed you?'

'Holly, the pain sensors were off the scale, you should have told him!'

'Short, if the sensors hadn't shown you to be in so much pain I would have reprimanded you for cutting across me. You should have told Kelp.'

'Just leave it, O.K.?' muttered Holly. Foaly, Commander Root and Trouble were shocked to hear how week her voice sounded, she was now leaning on Trouble for most of her support.

'Come on Holly, time to get you back to Haven.'

Trouble led Holly back into E1 and onto the shuttle. He managed to find a blanket and cover her. She slept the entire way back, her head lolling gently on Trouble's shoulder.

'Good Kelp, you can do paper work for the last two hours of your shift,' Commander Root was businesslike as soon as they stepped off of the shuttle. Or in Holly's case was almost lifted by Trouble.

'And Holly?' Trouble was still concerned for his friend.

Foaly chose that moment to step up to the Commander and whisper something in his ear. His face got even paler, and that was saying something.

'Cancel that, Kelp, you come to my office, you too Short, Foaly, you better come too.'

So the three of them trailed off after Commander Root, Holly and Trouble wondering what could possible have happened this time.

'Holly, Trouble, you might want to site down,' said the Commander as they entered his office. This must be bad, thought the elves; Commander Root used our first names.

A/N: That's it for now. Remember anyone who reviews, 25 reviews and I update early. Hint hint. Please. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

A/N: I promised an update at 25 reviews, didn't I? Well here it is. I think I should explain what I meant by asking people to review the last chapter, well actually bribing people to review. It is my opinion that if you bother to take the time out of your day to read something that you could spare a few more seconds to tell them what you think. Even if you hate it. But that is my opinion. I will not be bribing for reviews again. Anyway now on with the story.

_Review Replies:_

_em -_ I am updating sooner. I keep my word. You're right, it is H/R.

_sergeantstan - _Firstly, thank you so much for reviewing. I'm updating. I just felt like injuring it. But while I like hurting characters I do not kill them. Maybe I should give them meninjicocal's - they hurt (I had the 3rd one today, I have proof).

_Nia -_ Sorry, it isn't. I said that a while ago. I have to say I despise that pairing… no offence.

_Lutefa - _Yes, I am. You mean the ingofow card thingy? My play on words, that was. We have what are called cashflow cards in NZ, or EFTPOS, you do have eftpos in USA don't you? Not that I would know. Rob Hall… I've heard of him. He climbed Everest with Peter Hillary, didn't he? I know that Sir Edmund Hillary is a kiwi. What kiwi doesn't know that? No, Root can't be dead, he's one of my favourite characters.

_Stephi -_ Thanks and I am. TroubleHolly is not the pairing.

_artyssmarty - _Updating. Thanks.

_IamME13_ - I am updating. Thanks.

_---- - _Yes I do. Updating. Thanks.

_-anon-anon-anon- - _Yes, to my eternal shame I was not exactly awake and getting very annoyed at people who read and didn't review. I think it gets a little more OOC at the end. Wait… how did you know that was the pairing? I was revealing that this chapter.

_lalalalala - _My bad, I opened my email inbox and had four reviews waiting for me. Whoopsies. I am updating as soon as I find out I have 25 reviews.

**Chapter Five**

'We just got back the results of the LEP's once a century blood tests. Oh Frond how can I say this?' Neither Holly nor Trouble had ever seen Commander Root so stressed. 'Holly, you won't know this, but before he met your mum your dad went out with a lovely young woman. He, ummm, he fathered one of her two children. I don't know if I'm really the right person to tell you this, but you have a half brother.'

Holly sat there stunned. She really did look like she would throw up. She had lost a lot of blood and had now been told she had a half brother. Trouble wondered why he had to be there. Was he there for moral support or something?

'Holly,' Holly looked up, totally dumbfounded, 'the woman's name, it was Emiline Kelp.'

Holly and Trouble's mouths fell open. Both realised what this meant. They were half siblings.

'And Grub?' Troubled managed to choke out.

'He's your half brother Trouble.'

'Well that explains a lot.' Everyone in the room laughed feebly.

'I need to go home,' announced Holly, standing up.

'Seconded,' said Trouble.

'No. Foaly, you go. Trouble you can too if you wish. Or you can stay with Holly, if she wishes. Holly is staying here. I still want to talk to her.'

'Just leave her alone,' burst out Trouble. 'You did not send her on this assignment just to criticise her. I might only just of found out she's my sister, but she has always been my mate, I won't let you treat her like this.'

'Calm down Kelp. I just need to talk to her about a very serious matter.' I can't believe it, he thought, I do everything in my power to keep her safe, I care so much about her, yet everyone seems to think I hate her. I don't, honest.

'Trouble, it's cool. I'll stay,' said Holly as she slid back into her chair.

'I'll stay then.'

'Bye Foaly,' hinted Commander Root.

'Oh fine, bye.'

'Good, now we have got rid of him.' The three occupants of the room chuckled.

'Joking over, Captain, I want to talk to you about a very serious matter.'

'And that is sir?' said Holly, her voice cold.

'Why you didn't ask Kelp to heal your leg when you knew it would weaken you.'

'Well sir…'

'And don't try to tell me that you didn't know it was there. The pain sensor was nearly off the scale, and I tried to tell you and you interrupted me.'

'Well…'

'I'm waiting Holly.'

'Fine, if you must know because I'm not weak enough to ask for help for a cut, when I know I can help myself later.'

'Weakness Holly, weakness. Do I have to send you to see the councillor? This isn't about being weak. You proved you weren't weak when you got into recon, and all you have done since you got in is try to prove that you are stronger than the men. You have endangered your own life and that of your colleagues may times trying to be tough…'

'But I don't…' he held up his hand to silence her.

'You need to learn to trust your team mates Holly, you need to learn to trust yourself. You are not weak. Another episode like this and I will be sending you to the councillor. No arguments. You may go home tonight.'

With that Commander Root slumped into his chair, he looked defeated. They both decided not to try and push their luck and exited the room silently.

'You're coming home with me Holly,' said Trouble as soon as they exited the room.

'What? No.'

'I'm not trying to be a pervert. You look like you are going to keel over any minute now. And besides, can't I care for my sister? Plus I live across the hall from you.'

'Fine, I'll come.'

'Good little sister.'

'Less of the little business please.'

'Sorry.'

'Our shifts ended ten minutes ago. Let's leave.'

The two of them signed out of police plaza and walked home together. Trouble with a steady hand on Holly's elbow.

'You don't have to be this nice to me just because we're related.'

'But I want to Hols, and besides, we were mates before now, what's changed, apart from the fact that I no longer wonder why I'm not attracted to such a beautiful girl as you?'

'No one's going to wonder how I can be mates with you and not fancy you.'

'True,' laughed Trouble, 'but other than that, I still care for you.'

'Come into my place for some coffee, O.K.'

'Fine Trub.'

They sat and watched a show on television that they both liked. It was a mud man show called Motorway Patrol, and it had traffic cops from a country called New Zealand. They both liked this programme, for obvious reasons. They also liked Police Ten 7 as both were totally addicted to their jobs.

A/N: I hope everyone knows what the pairing is now. Considering that it is on the summary and I said that I cannot stand ArtyHolly. Anyway thank you for reading and please review.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

A/N: Whoopsies, this update is a day late. My bad. The updates will still be on Friday nights though. Sorry. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. And for anyone wondering where the surface weddings have got to they are coming.

_Review Replies:_

_-anon-anon-anon- -_ Foaly isn't really featuring that much in this fic. And I said that I hated AH and that this wasn't HT, so it seemed obvious to me. But anyway, it was changed in the little summary thingy, and it is HollyRoot.

_­­Sgarecool321 - _This is an update. Yes half-sibling.

_Stiggy - _hehe, I like that word, yay. Thanks.

_hidden and forgotten - _it isn't HollyFoaly, that pairing scares me - they are different species.

_Lutefa - _Umm I meant Kiwi as in someone from New Zealand, named after the endangered cute fluffy flightless bird that lives only in New Zealand, not kiwi as in kiwifruit, which was originally from China. I'm too lazy to climb mountains myself. I am continuing.

_Tryptophan - _Thanks. The title does have some significance, I just haven't got to the weddings yet. You never know… it could be true. Thanks.

_sergeantstan - _All of the chapters are 3 pages in word. Thanks, I'm glad you are happy.

_potter-Dork - _yay. Holly doesn't go home with Root because ummm I didn't feel lie making her… I dunno I can't remember why but there was a reason.

_Nia - _Thanks.

**Chapter Six**

Having watched that 20 minutes of quality programming (they were not forced to sit through the endless adverts) Holly stood up.

'I'm going to bed now. Night Trouble.'

'Night Hols.'

Holly was then suddenly compelled to do what neither of them would have expected. She stepped up to Trouble and game him a hug. Trouble simply stared at her, shocked. He had never seen her display so much emotion.

'I haven't had a family member for so long,' she explained, going red, 'Goodnight Trouble.'

On that slightly shocking and embarrassing note Holly stepped out of the door, across the hall, and into her own apartment. As soon as she shut the door behind her she began to grin. She had a family again.

With her grin firmly in place she tumbled into bed. It had been a very eventful day.

………………………………………………..

The next morning Holly got up and woke Trouble up half an hour earlier than either of them ever got up. They went into work together. Both were extremely happy.

When they signed in with Root they both noticed that he seemed extremely pale, but neither said anything. It wasn't a very good idea on the best of days to tell your boss that he was very pale. There was an office pool running on how long it would take until his heart exploded. No one really knew how old he was, most people guessed that he was about five hundred, so he probably still had a good millennium or two left in him.

'I've got work to do, see you Holly.'

'I've gotta go see Foaly, see what work he has for me to do. I'm sure he'll find something,' grinned Holly.

Holly made her solitary way down to the Ops. Booth. Foaly was very pleased to see her once she got there. He too was feeling like a loner.

They spent about and hour talking about Foaly's latest invention, or rather, Foaly talked and Holly listened to avoid doing paperwork.

'So Holly, what did you come down here for?' asked Foaly.

'Just, ummm, just to tell you that I had no paperwork left to do.'

'Shouldn't you have told Julius this Holly?'

'But I knew that Root would just give me more and that I could get out of some by coming to see you.'

'Typical Holly, get going now and tell Root.'

Commander Root chose that exact moment to walk into the room.

'Tell me what, exactly?'

'Well, umm….'

Holly never got any further than that because Commander Root chose that exact moment to collapse into a heap on the floor. He was still breathing, still conscious, but obviously in a lot of pain.

'Julius,' shrieked Holly as she ran towards him.

'I need a medic down here, Ops. Booth, now!' said Foaly into one of his beloved intercoms.

Holly was already on the floor by Commander Root as a medic rushed into the room. The medic lay Root on his back, placed his hands on Root's chest and muttered 'Heal.'

Blue sparks played around Root's stomach, his breathing slowed and he seemed to be in less pain.

'This shouldn't happen to him Foaly, sir, not if he has had his pent-annual medical examination that all LEP personnel are meant to have.'

'I know that, but, Julius being Julius, he probably hasn't.'

As people seemed to be choosing that day to randomly walk into the Ops. Booth the chairman of the Council himself decided to walk into the room as well.

'Julius probably hasn't what?' he asked upon hearing Foaly's comment.

'Had his pent-annual medical examination, sir,' muttered Foaly, knowing Root would dock his budget.

'Oh Frond, Root,' he said upon spotting Julius lying on the floor with Holly and the medic kneeling beside him.

'Hang on,' chimed in Holly, 'PENT-annual? Then why does Root make me go once a year?'

'Probably because you're a girl,' replied the chairman. Then he held up his hand as Holly opened her mouth to protest, 'Not now Short. You and the medic can escort Julius to the Police Hospital. Get him checked out, find out what it is that is wrong with him. Then contact Major Kelp and tell him that he will be in charge for however long it takes to fix whatever Root has plus a week. No arguments,' he said again as Commander Root this time opened his mouth to protest, 'Oh, and how long has it been since you had a medical examination?'

'About 50 years I think.'

'ROOT, you will be having the pent-annual examinations pent-annually, got it? Short get him to the hospital.'

'Yes, sir,' said Holly. She grabbed Commander Root's arm and hoisted it over her shoulder so he could lean on her as they walked to the hospital on the other side of the building.

They walked in silence, but once they reached the hospital Root took a breath, and said, amazingly managing not to look or sound like he was swallowing his pride, 'Thanks Holly.'

'No problem sir.' Holly grinned. Maybe Julius didn't hate her so much after all.

Julius was up on could nine. Admittedly Holly had been ordered to bring him, and he was in a lot of pain, but she didn't seem to mind that she had had to bring him to the hospital. He could feel her delicate frame under his arm, slim yet strong. He began to lapse into a day dream where Holly didn't think he hated her, but was brought out of it by Holly snapping her fingers under his nose and saying, 'Sir, they want you to sit down here, is that O.K. sir?'

'Fine,' muttered Julius.

'Great,' said Holly as she lowered him gently onto a bed. Julius was amazed by how gentle she was. Almost like she actually cared, but he managed to convince himself this wasn't true, that she didn't care for him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

A/N: Well, it's Friday Night again. I say that every chapter, don't I? Anyway, another chapter written. I read somewhere that you aren't supposed to put personalised answers to reviews in the chapters, but I don't know if it's true, can anyone clarify? Not that that is going to stop me. Oh, and because I'm lazy review replies are at the end of the chapter. Now on with this chapter.

**Chapter Seven**

Holly was concerned. Julius looked very vague, he was very pale, and he kept staring at her. She wondered briefly why this was, but was more concerned with making sure he was okay. Having lowered him gently onto the bed the medic told her to put him on she asked if she should wait outside.

'That would be great,' replied the medic, 'just in that waiting room out there. We'll come and get you when we know what's wrong. Could be a couple of hours though.'

'I'll wait,' said Holly before she even knew she was saying it. She could have left, she knew it, but for some reason she felt that she must stay and wait, like she cared a lot for Commander Root. She felt she would never be able to explain why this was.

There was one thing she had to do before she settled down to wait, which was to call Trouble and explain the situation just as the chairman had ordered her to. She marched over to the reception desk and picked up the telephone. She dialled Troubled office number and waited while the phone rung.

'Major Trouble Kelp speaking, how may I help you?'

'Hey Trouble, it's Holly. I have to tell you something.'

'Hols, what is it? You sound upset. Where are you? I'll come there right now and you can tell me in person.'

'I'm in the Police hospital. You don't have to come up; besides, it's nothing personal, just something I'm under orders to tell you.'

'It must be serious to get you sounding even remotely upset Holly, hold on; I'll come up there right now.'

With that the phone went dead, and Holly was left holding the receiver. As she waited for Trouble she thought about how lucky she was to have him for a brother. He cared so much.

'Holly what is it?' asked Trouble, arriving in the hospital slightly breathless, apparently having run all of the way there.

'It's Root,' said Holly, 'I was in the Ops Booth talking to Foaly and he came in and just kind of collapsed. We got a medic, then the chairman came in and ordered me to bring him here, and he said when I'd done that I had to contact you and tell you that you would be in charge for however long it takes to fix whatever is wrong with Root plus a week.'

'Oh, so now I'm in charge. Cool. Why are you so worried Holly? I thought you hated Root.'

'I don't hate him, he hates me, and besides, he's my commander, it's my job to be worried about him.'

'Right, well I should get back to work. Do you want to meet me for lunch or something?'

'I'm staying here. I have to be sure he'll be alright.'

'O.K. Fine, you can do that today. Say hi to him from me. I'll see you after work.'

Holly sat down on the horribly uncomfortable plastic hospital waiting chair. Trouble walked slowly out of the building.

Unbeknown to Holly Julius had heard most of this conversation, and had managed to deduce that she didn't exactly hate him, she just thought he hated her. Possibilities began to chase each other around in his head, each more feeble than the last.

Two hours later the medic emerged from Julius' room. Holly, who had been dozing, immediately stepped up to him and demanded to know how he was.

'Step inside, he has given permission for you to hear, I will tell both you and him what is wrong.'

Holly briefly wondered why Julius had given his permission for her to find out what was wrong with him, but she followed the medic into the room. There were no chairs by Julius' bed; he was by now in LEP hospital pyjama's and under the covers, so she sat down on the end of his bed. He nodded his consent.

'Well, Commander Root here has a stomach ulcer,' said the medic, 'this is very serious for a fairy as it causes premature ageing symptoms i.e. grey hair, wrinkles etcetera. Symptoms of a very advanced ulcer include nausea, insomnia and possibly even death.' (A/N: a stomach ulcer is one of those things that cannot be fixed with magic (there are others). There is, however, an operation which can cure it.)

'So I could die?' asked Julius.

'You shouldn't, provided we operate immediately. The premature ageing should be reversed too, within a week. You need to stay in hospital for a week after the operation, and I believe the chairman has ordered you take a week off of work after that.'

'I will not take two weeks off work.'

'Shhh, Commander, please don't argue, you didn't see yourself when you collapsed. You need this time off.'

Both Holly and Julius were surprised by the tone of her voice, it sounded almost pleading. Julius' heart gave a flutter; Holly almost seemed to care about him.

'Fine, I'll have the surgery. At least then I can get rid of this annoying grey hair.'

'Oh, and sir,' said the medic, 'I suggest you stop smoking those fungus cigars for pain relief, they won't do you any good after this.'

'Good, they were disgusting anyway.'

At that comment Holly gave a snort, she couldn't help it. She was also relieved, Julius didn't smoke, another bad thing about him gone.

'What's so funny Holly?'

'Everyone thinks they are disgusting sir, we didn't know you agreed.'

'Well they are. Can you go to my office and throw the box out. Then go home. Tell Trouble I said you could. Send him to see me if he doesn't believe you. Come and see me tomorrow though, hmmm?'

'Sure thing sir, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.'

'Bye Holly.'

'Good luck, sir.'

'Can we get started with the operation now?'

'Yes,' said Holly and Julius in unison, turning to the waiting medic. Holly blushed.

A/N: The end of this chapter. Sorry if they seem a little short but each is 3 pages in Microsoft Word. Now, I said I wouldn't have another growl, but I'm not impressed with those people I am on the favourite and/of alert list of who have probably read this but not reviewed, to the best of my knowledge, once, but I'm not going to say anymore, it is their choice. Anyway, the review replies (oh, a good question was asked by Stiggy -pentannual is every five years, not five times a year (my own invention)).

_Review Replies:_

_sergeantstan - _Thanks, a lot. I look forward to the update.

_-anon-anon-anon- -_ I don't know. I'm just confused. I am keeping writing. I refuse to leave a story hanging.

_hidden and forgotten - _I'm sure you were it is just me overreacting, my fault. Nope, not a heart attack, and yes, that would make the story seem very weird.

_lalalalala - _yes, it is, I wonder why.

_Stiggy - _Turnip? But I'm honoured. I don't think anyone will thin you stupid, seeing as a kind of used neologism with that word, but I mean it to mean once every five years, because biennial is once every two years, but pentennial looked wrong, so it's pentannual it is. Good question. Root shouldn't have died in the first place, that is one thing Colfer wrote that I don't agree with. I enjoy ramblings, they are very interesting.

_Potter-Dork - _eeek. Help, stupid mouse. I'm sure it was beautiful. That's a good idea, but I don't think that will happen because it's a Police Hospital, and we aren't at that stage in the relationship yet… unfortunately. Hmmm, why don't you like Trouble? I like him and I think that TH is a lot more probable pairing than AH, somehow, cross-species disgusts me. Somehow I don't think that I'll be pairing Trouble with Foaly, that's cross-species again, I don't have a problem with gay people or anything, but cross species. I think it is the one of the longest reviews I have ever got, if not the longest, thank-you mouse. I don't mind people ranting about computers, don't get me started on the problems with my laptop. No I'm over the counting reviews thing, I wasn't really counting them, just trying to get those people who have me on their favourites and/or their alerts who don't spare 10 seconds to review (or in your case a lot more). Anyway, thank you for the review, in return I give you a long reply.

_Tryptophan - _How did you guess? Thanks, but I'm afraid he will get a little OOC character, as I think I said last time. Just a couple I think… naughty Julius…50 years, tut tut. Yes I live in NZ. Aren't kiwi's just so cute? I love the miniturised wings.

Anyway, thank you to all reviewers, and please review, next chapter is next week, unless there are celebratory purposes (speech results come out next week… that might help…) Yes, anyway, till next time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

A/N: thank you to everyone who reviewed and here is a new chapter. I'm really sorry, this chapter is mainly pointless talking and rambling. But we will get to the illegal wedding eventually. Review replies are at the end of the chapter. Anyway, enough of my ramblings.

**Chapter Eight**

'Bye sir,' she said as she left the room.

Holly's next port of call was a visit to Trouble. She walked into his office without knocking, luckily he had no visitors.

'Hey Holly, how is he?'

'You're going to be in charge for two weeks. I shouldn't tell you any more, it is his business if he wants to tell you.'

'True. What did you come here for?'

'To tell you that Root said I could have the rest of the day off. I'm not joking, he said you could ask him yourself.'

'So I could ask him right this minute?' asked Trouble grinning.

'Well not right now, he's in surgery, but you could still ask him.'

'It's all right I'll believe you. I'll see you when I get home, O.K.?'

'Sure, see you.'

With that Holly trudged out of her brother's office, through the streets of haven and back into her apartment.

Holly sat in her apartment and whiled away the time until Trouble would come. Not because she was worried about Julius, simply because she had nothing to do and did not yet feel like going to sleep.

She lost track of time just sitting there, and before she knew it Trouble was knocking on her door. She got up and let him in.

'So how was your first day as boss?'

'Great, but it is going to be a long two weeks, I don't know how Julius does it.'

'Neither do I.'

'You know, it's probably what caused him to get that stomach ulcer.'

'How do you know about that?'

'I went to see him. He seemed quite disappointed that you weren't with me.'

'Haha. I seriously doubt that.'

'I'm not kidding, he said to remind you to go and see him tomorrow.'

'I told him I was going.'

'Anyway, what did you do on your afternoon off?'

'Nothing.'

'Nothing! Holly, you're not that worried about him are you?'

'No I'm jut bored.'

'Are you sure you're O.K.?'

'I'm fine Trouble. I think I'll just go to bed.'

'All right, I'll see you in the morning, O.K.'

'Yea see you, can't have you being late now you're in control can we?' Holly grinned.

'Night Holly.' Trouble grinned too as he left Holly's apartment for his own.

…………………………………………………….

That morning the two elves left their apartment's early to visit Julius in the LEP hospital. Unfortunately for them Julius was asleep when they went to visit him. Neither of them could hang around, well Holly could, but she didn't want people thinking that just because she was Trouble's sister she was his favourite, despite the fact that that was most probably the case.

Holly grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note to Julius.

_Hi Commander, it's Holly. I came to see you like I said I would, but you were snoring. Anyway, I might not get to see you for a few days, but good luck for your recovery and it will be interesting to see back at work. I don't know why Trouble laughed when I wrote that. Anyway, see you soon._

_From Holly._

She placed it on his beside table and walked from the room.

As soon as they were out of the room Trouble cracked, 'It will be interesting to see you back at work?' he managed to splutter out between laughs.

'Well I couldn't very well have said it would be good. He would have known I was lying.'

'True,' admitted Trouble, his laughter subsiding, 'and it will be interesting. We should probably get to work now.'

They split up and headed to their work areas.

Soon after, when Julius read Holly's note, he felt a pang that was nothing to do with his recent surgery. He had missed seeing Holly, and he probably wouldn't see her again 'till he was back at work. And she would find that "interesting", he didn't blame Kelp for laughing. But at least Holly didn't lie to him. That was something.

………………………………………….

The next few days passed in a blur for both Julius and Holly. Trouble had given Holly some more paperwork and nothing interesting had happened. It seemed that Commander Root had to be there for anything interesting to happen.

Finally it had been a week since Commander Root had gone into the LEP hospital, it was time for him to go home and rest for a week. Holly hadn't been to visit him again; this had made him very depressed. With a glum look on his face he packed his few belongings he had at the LEP hospital into a bag. He was just zipping up the bag when a knock sounded on the door.

'Can I come in Commander?' asked Holly from the doorway.

'Sure,' replied Julius, his face lighting up.

As the door began to open he quickly stifled his joy at Holly coming to visit him. It would not be good if she saw his joy.

A/N: it stops there because it does. Sorry it was quite pointless, and I hope that isn't classed as a cliff hanger. Sorry if it is.

_Review Replies:_

_sergeantstan - _Thanks. I think it says somewhere in the books he has an ulcer, I just made up the premature ageing thing. The cigars are the one thing that annoy me about Root, they really are. I do hate it when people don't review, but I'm not going to push it anymore. Thanks, I always look forward to them.

_hidden and forgotten - _Yep, only they all think he's 1500 years old. But he isn't. I don't think I've said how old he actually is yet have I? And for reviewing I thank you. I'm not going to say anything more about people not reviewing, no more pushing it.

_potter-Dork - _thanks. I still like Trouble, I'm not sure why, but I agree about the evil. True, I believe both pairings are possible, if written properly, but somehow I don't think that Arty/Holly, it is _cross-species_ that is just wrong. Stupid technology… hmmm I suppose Foaly is a member of the People, but he still has four legs, not two. Thank you so much for the long review. I love to reply to reviewers, if they give their time I will give mine to reply to them. I've never seen anyone get rid of the cigars before, someone had two, they annoy me so much, I thought I would.

_Stiggy's Slave (With Stiggy) - _turnips, hehe, I'm never going to get over the turnips, they are so very original. I'm signing, where's the petition? BRING BACK JULIUS. Whoops, getting over-excited there. Yes, I'm thinking of changing that to pentennial, just so people don't get confused. It does say in the book that he has grey hair I think, I don't remember. Lovely, sticky stuff, just so very appetising.

_-anon-anon-anon- - _Aren't they just? So very cute. I'm not sure, I haven't actually bothered to count the pages, I have this whole story pre-written, I just add on review replies and authors notes each chapter. And edit anything I realise doesn't make sense. Thanks.

_IamME13 - _You reviewed! Thank you so much. I update every Friday night in New Zealand. But sometimes it doesn't show up on the site until Saturday morning, in New Zealand, remembering time difference. You're welcome. Thank you for reviewing.

_Jakarutia - _Thanks. And Holly and Julius can be a couple, at least in this story. Don't worry, nobody dies, I think. Here's the next chapter for you. Oh and by the way, your English is really good.

_Tryptophan - _I'm sure they could, they better be able to overcome any barriers, even "death" I'm still annoyed at Colfer for that. A chibi bird? Never heard of them. I only know about kiwi's takahe and moa. I have to ask you this, have you ever heard of the pronunciation of Whakatane? I find it funny when people don't believe how it is meant to be pronounced.

_lalalalala - _maybe, but I'm still going to update on Fridays, because then it more likely will show up by Saturday's.

_RaevanDawn - _Thanks. Can I join in the chase? I'll find a broken lampshade. Bad Colfer.

_Mage Kitty ­-_ Yes, I thought about that when I put that. I'm serious considering going back and changing it, but I think pentennial looks odd. So it can stay and pentannual for now. I know a lot of people use it wrong. I only learnt what it meant when I looked it up in a dictionary when I wrote this story. The one problem with fanfiction is OOCness, but fanfiction is still good, very good, at least you get to see characters doing things that the authors would probably never make them do. That is true about Holly. I never thought of that. Thanks, and thank you for reviewing. I hope it doesn't disappoint.

_lalalalala - _true, thanks.

-------------------------------------------

Ok, thank you for reading everyone who read. More next Friday.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

A/N: This chapter is a page longer than the others, because otherwise nothing would have happened and it is mean to do that two weeks in a row. Not much happens in this chapter either, but it will happen, I swear.

**Chapter Nine**

'Hey Commander, how are you?'

'Good Short, you?'

'I'm fine Commander.'

'Good.'

There was silence for a few minutes as Holly stood awkwardly by the door and Julius continued placing his possessions in a bag, trying to do so quickly without looking like he was rushing was proving extremely difficult for him.

'How are you getting home?'

'Driving.'

'But Foaly, trying to be helpful of course, had your vehicle towed back to you apartment.'

'D'arvit. I suppose I'll walk then.'

'Do you want me to give you a ride?'

'I don't expect you to do that Short,' said Julius, while inside him his heart was fluttering at the chance to possibly spend more time with Holly.

'It's no trouble, honest. Besides, we can't have you walking home from hospital now can we?' She grinned as she made that statement.

'Fine, as long as you don't mind.'

'No problem. You ready to go?'

'Yes,' replied the Commander happily, zipping his bag.

'Why are you so happy all of a sudden?' asked Holly curiously.

'Just happy to be getting out of here.'

Holly accepted this answer without question, but for some reason Commander Root had a sneaking suspicion that she didn't quite believe him.

As they headed out to Holly's four wheel drive Holly realised she wasn't quite sure why she had gone to see Julius and offered to take him home, but somehow she knew that it was the right thing for her to do.

'You look way better, younger I mean, now that the ulcer's gone,' said Holly as they pulled out onto the magmastrip. Holly immediately felt like an idiot. She was sure that Julius would be offended by this, she began to go red.

Julius wasn't sure what to say. Was Holly complementing him or something? How could that be? He settled on a comment that he thought might be slightly jovial.

'Oh, so I looked bad before?'

Holly turned bright red and muttered, 'That's not what I meant.'

Julius was genuinely worried; he never meant to embarrass Holly. He decided that now might be the time to say thank you to her for the complement.

'I didn't mean that Holly, thanks.'

Relief flooded Holly's face.

'This shouldn't be taking so long,' she muttered.

'What?'

'We should be there by now. I wonder why the traffic is so bad.'

The answer came soon enough. As they rounded a bend in the magmastrip they saw a pileup on the magmastrip. Somehow 15 drivers had managed to crash into each other simultaneously while trying to avoid a car that had managed to catch fire.

'We could be here for awhile, sorry Holly.'

'It's fine Commander.'

'Do you want to sit here in complete silence?'

'If you want to sir,' replied Holly, not sure if it was a trick question or not.

'It's not a trick question if that's what you are thinking.'

'Oh.'

'So do you want to tell me what I missed this week?' Commander Root couldn't believe that he was trying to make small talk with Holly and would probably be stuck in a confined space with her for an hour.

'Nothing much Commander,' Holly grinned, 'nothing ever happens when you aren't there sir. I think some people even miss you.'

'Please don't call me 'Commander' or 'sir' for however long we are stuck here Holly, it gets depressing.'

Holly was totally confuzzled, 'I don't understand sir, do you want me to call you Root?' Never in anyone's memory had Commander Root given anyone permission to call him by his first name. The exception was Briar Cudgeon, and we all know what a traitor he was.

'No Holly, call me Julius, no one has for so long. I rather miss my name.'

'O.K…' replied Holly cautiously, she didn't know where this was leading, but at least Julius didn't seem too angry with her.

'So, ummm, Julius, if you don't mind my asking, how old are you actually? No offence, but you looked about one thousand five hundred a few days ago.'

'Amazing how the fake age goes away when the ulcer is removed isn't it? Believe it or not I'm four hundred and eighty five.'

Holly was amazed. She was eighty four. Julius was only four hundred and one years older than her. Whoever knew that would be possible?

'Wow, everyone would be so surprised to find that out. You must be the youngest full Commander ever in the history of the LEP.'

'You can't tell everyone Holly, I'd loose what little reputation I have left.'

'I wouldn't dream of telling everyone, let them think you're a thousand five hundred.' Holly grinned. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

'Just because I looked a thousand five hundred didn't mean I was. You should know not to judge a book by its cover.'

'Ah, the old mud man cliché, nice touch Julius.'

Julius just grinned. For once in his life he wasn't having an argument with Holly.

The traffic chose that exact moment to start moving again, and within three minutes they were at Julius' apartment block. Holly insisted on hefting his bag up the nine floors to his apartment, which wasn't that much bigger than hers. Maybe the pay for being a Commander wasn't that much better than the pay for being a Captain. Not that she was about to ask.

'You want to come in for a coffee?'

'Yea, O.K.'

'Lousy LEP pay,' muttered Julius as he punched the key code into the electronic number pad and opened the door. Both he and Holly couldn't help it. They burst into fits of giggles; Julius had just voiced what had been in the mind of all LEP employees for centuries. It was probably the first time that a Commander had voiced the opinion. Not that all the Corporal's (and the likes of Grub Kelp, of course) didn't voice it every day.

'Something we agree on,' giggled Holly.

'This is a moment for the record books.'

The both subsided into giggles, not that they had really stopped from before. It was most unlike LEP officers to do this.

It took them about five minutes, but they managed to regain their composure. Holly wasn't really surprised at how Julius' apartment looked, so it was a little odd, did that really matter? It was furnished in an old mud-man style décor, lots of wood and the such, there were fairy electronics, of course, it actually looked really good. But no time to worry about that now. There was the slight problem of the giggling fit to attend to. Holly turned to Julius.

'I won't tell if you don't Julius.'

------------------------

A/N: So, a page longer than usual, but don't get used to it. I will be updating again next week, and probably writing a new story in the holidays (hehe next week is the last week of term) anyway, please review. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Oh, and I just have to point out that as of four review from now I will have more reviews on this story than on my other story, and that has 13 chapters. So thank you to everyone who has ever reviewed.

_Review Replies: _

_sergeantstan: _Thanks, and thanks again. Encore, hehe, that makes me laugh, last year we did an encore from the end of a fifteen minute Romeo and Juliet and it was one minute long. It was amazing to see something that took about three weeks for our class to read condensed into sixty seconds. Now I can't help but laugh every time I hear that word. Anyway, when are you going to update your story? I'm suffering from deprivation here.

_Stiggy - _Yes, it does. So does Holly/Trouble in my opinion, but that wasn't the point of this story, so it's Holly/Root and I'm proud of it. Well that is just devastating, it's all the sticky stuffs fault. I'll send you a review saying I want my name on your petition just as soon as you update. Wow, a turnip of my very own, I feel honoured.

_Mage Kitty - _Thanks. I always reply to reviews, if people take the time to review. Thanks for reviewing.

_potter-Dork - _No, not Holly/Trouble, that would be very disturbing considering the circumstances. Thanks. They interact in this chapter, wait, this is at the end now, well that was a pointless comment.

_lalalalala -_ hmmm, well the update will be here when you check back once a week I suppose. Clever method though.

_hidden and forgotten - _whoops, I'm sorry. I hope this does.

_Tryptophan - _True. I'm already in negotiations to purchase a pitch-fork, considering Colfer is currently here in NZ… yes, I heard about that. And there are two more Artemis Fowl books. I'm getting excited. Repetitive, got it. Hmmm, I see what you mean. I wasn't really going to describe where he lived, but I added a little description near the end just for you. Not very creative, but the best I could come up with. Wh is pronounced as F, aka is pronounced is ucka, tane is pronounced taanaye. If I was to type the actual pronunciation I might have to rate the story for swearing. I find it funny whenever you say that to someone from overseas and they say 'Wow, you can swear in NZ'. Hmmm, A moa is extinct but was basically like a giant ostrich, a kiwi is the little brown thingy with a long beak that can't fly (there are three varieties), and a takahe is a blue and green bird I think, and they were thought to be extinct. All indigenous to New Zealand, of course. Enough rambling on about pointless stuff from me though. Yes I did write this whole thing. Thanks for reviewing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

**WARNING: **any part of this story from this point forwards (and probably some before it) may contain OOCness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it work any other way.

A/N: I am so so sorry. I didn't update. Grabs hockey stick and starts hitting something hopes it wasn't valuable sorry. Yes, I have an excuse, but you aren't going to want to hear the rambling of a raving lunatic with computer trouble. I'll just say that everything was stuck on the computer I am using at this exact point in time, and I couldn't get turn it on. Hence I've been submitting a lot of unsigned reviews moaning about computer trouble. I'll stop moaning now, and get on with the chapter. The next update will be on Friday as usual. Unless this breaks again, which is highly likely. grabs hockey stick and whacks fingers so she must stop typing the absurdly long AN.

_---------------------------------------_

**Chapter Ten**

'_I won't tell if you don't Julius.'_

'Deal,' replied Julius, and with that they stepped inside. Barely another word was said as Julius gave Holly a coffee. She liked it exactly the same way as him (black with two sugars) which just served to scare both of them more. They were both beginning to think that they were more and more compatible. It was a scary thought. Both believed that the other would never like them in that way.

When Holly had left his apartment Julius began to think about what Holly had said about him looking much better now. He had known he looked older, but not that much older. He decided it was time that he went to the gym, got in shape, made himself look better. Maybe then he would stand a chance with Holly. Not that he held out too much hope. She was one hundred and one years younger than him. He was one hundred and one years older than her. Sure, it wasn't unheard of for people with that age difference to date and even marry, but Holly was a beautiful elf. She could have any hot young guy she wanted, why would she want an older elf who had been mean to her for years?

He resolved to start going to the gym for an hour a day, starting the very next day. He would, of course, go to a gym outside of the LEP. He didn't need all of the guys to know what her was doing. Or Holly for that matter.

So Julius started going to the gym. He went every day of the week he had been forced to stay home from work. He was surprised at how quickly he was changing and bulking up. By the time he went back to work the next week he had clearly visible muscles and dark brown hair with no grey. To top it all off he was much fitter and felt better than he had in years. He was even not as red as usual, almost a normal coffee colour. Of course, not as good a complexion as Holly, her skin is perfect; he couldn't help thinking to himself.

Holly was very excited; Julius was coming back to work today. She was, of course, expected to call him Sir or Commander, but she could think of him as Julius, and it meant a lot to her that he had asked her to call him Julius.

Trouble, as usual, escorted her to work. He looked relieved not to be in charge anymore. He wondered why Holly was so excited that Commander Root was coming back to work. They hated each other, didn't they?

They walked up to Commander Root's office to report in. Trouble was amazed at how much younger he looked. He was also amazed that he didn't yell at Holly, but actually asked to talk to her.

'Short, can I have a word?'

'Sure sir. I'll see you after work, O.K. Trouble?'

'Yea, see you. Nice to see you back sir,' said Trouble as he departed. He could tell that the two of them wanted to talk.

'What did you want to talk about sir?'

'I wanted to thank you Holly, for everything. Taking me home last week and coming to visit me and leaving that note. It was really good of you. You never had to do that, especially not after how I treated you. So thanks, and I'm sorry.'

Holly was absolutely dumbfounded. Julius was thanking her, and APOOGISING, to her. This was a first. Not to say she was disappointed. She secretly liked Julius, he was a very nice elf, and was looking way better than half of the models in the fairy magazines. The surgery had done him good. He looked like he actually was one hundred and eighty five, and he looked really hot. But Holly knew he would never want her like that, he could have any elf he wanted. Why would he want her?

Besides, office relationships are unprofessional, they both thought at the same time.

Holly left Julius' office slightly after this and went to work. Later than day she was given a very easy and straightforward field assignment, incidentally the only one that came up that day.

Over the next few weeks it was very difficult for them not to tell each other that they were infatuated with each other. They didn't try or anything. They had both convinced themselves that the other could never possibly want them, so they just had to keep reminding themselves of this when they were caught staring at each other.

Trouble was worried about Holly. She had been different ever since Julius went into hospital. And now she didn't even seem to hate him as much as she used to. It was odd. And Julius didn't seem to get angry as often now and never got angry with Holly. It was weird. Something was wrong. For one of the first times in his life he had been left out of the loop. He tried asking Holly what was wrong, but she insisted that nothing was wrong. He decided not to press the issue, but couldn't help himself worrying about his sister.

It had been weeks since Julius' ulcer had been removed and he and Holly were almost over their infatuation when the phone rang.

'LEP Headquarters, How may I help you?' asked the receptionist.

A muffled voice issued through the speaker, 'I know about a gang or crooks who are selling illegal surface weddings for 50,000 gold coins (50,000 gold coins is the equivalent of $500,000NZD). They're ferrying young couples up to the surface illegally and dangerously…' he went on to give the name, address and place to find these people to the LEP. The telephone call was recorded. At the end of the call the informant hung up, never to be seen again.

Holly spoke for everyone assembled in the room (herself, Commander Root, his receptionist, and a Cadet who had been sent to tell him about an exploding sewer (covered in purple sludge with pink dot's, not orange gel, as she had just been about to point out to the Commander) when she breathed, 'wow.'

It wasn't everyday that the LEP got a tip off like this, and it was most likely a trap. Commander Root turned to Holly.

'Come into my office Holly.' Holly obediently followed him into his office where he turned to face her.

'We are going to need a female to go in undercover. There is only one other female in the organisation Short, and I will not trust something this important to Frond. You know how important this is, it could lead to the discovery of the People if these fairies are caught on the surface. Will you do it? Understand this mission is completely voluntary.'

He knew that Holly would agree, how could she not? She was prepared to do anything in order stop the mud people discovering the People.

A furious storm raged in Holly's mind. She did not like the prospect of having to pretend to be going out with a random guy, she liked even less the prospect of kissing him, but she was being offered a mission and a good one at that. Plus she wanted to protect Haven. It was an easy decision really.

As if on cue Holly replied, 'Anything to stop the mud people discovering the People.'

'Thank you Holly.'

He turned to a nervous looking intern 'O.K. call me a meeting, all Captains and Majors of the LEP.'

'Yes sir,' said an intern as he scurried towards the door.

Within five minutes a message had gone through the LEP that all Captains and Majors should assemble in the Situations Room.

Commander Root was not a happy elf. This was urgent, but yet he would not send Holly with any elf, he would not put her with someone who would take the chance to kiss her and not do his job, apart from it being too much of a risk he would not put Holly through that. He cared about her too much. He would at least send her with a competent partner.

_Review Replies:_

_Stiggy - _Thanks. Hehehe words. I have an obsession with interesting words. You can run away now if you like. Sorry I took longer than normal to update. To my eternal shame. Thanks. If I develop multiple personality syndrome can I add my name more than once?

_-anon-anon-anon- - _Thank you. I am eternally honoured by the praise. I thank you so much.

_hidden and forgotten - _I probably used the word confuzzled somewhere. I like that word. To my eternal shame I'm afraid this does go rather OOC in some places, but this was as good as it got.

_sergeantstan - _hahaha. Wow, thanks, I'm honoured. Hmmm, did you ever update? As long as you do eventually, I suppose. Marching band. Lucky. We don't have them where I live. Sad, really. You don't play the funny tuba on the shoulder thing do you? I find them so funny. And the oboe, hehe, an ugly clarinet. OK, rant about random musical instruments over. Thanks for reviewing.

_refloc: _Now I'm going to sit here and respond to each of your reviews. Thanks for reviewing.

_refloc: _Thanks for reviewing.

_refloc: _Thanks for reviewing.

_refloc: _Thanks for reviewing.

_refloc: _Thanks for reviewing.

_refloc: _Not all Holly/Root I've seen has been that bad, but even if this is a failure I'll just rewrite it and finish earlier. But not before posting it, of course. I did write it, after all, and this was the best there was.

_refloc: _Thanks for reviewing. True, but it was the only thing I could find in the books that Root actually had, and the only thing I could invent a plausible excuse for the ageing with. Unromantic: yes.

_refloc: _Thanks for reviewing. Whoopsies, I just resist cliffies.

_refloc: _Hmm, maybe he wouldn't giggle… the things drugs do to you.

_EarthyGrl: _Hmm, since you asked. I might just do that. I'm debating possible Root/Vinyaya in one of my other stories. But I might just write one centring around that. Can't guarantee it will be the best ever though. I've never tried that pairing.

_Jakarutia: _Thanks. I saw him on TV, does that count? No, I didn't get any drawings that you sent me. But I would be honoured to see them if you wanted to send them again.

_lalalalala - _thanks for reviewing.

_Potter-Dork: _I was scared that people were going to be yelling at me for not updating when I got your review. Ohhh what pairing? If there's good fanfiction I must read. I have nothing to do for three weeks. Except write, of course. You don't have to wait long it would appear. Thanks for reviewing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

**WARNING: **any part of this story from this point forwards (and probably some before it) may contain OOCness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it work any other way.

A/N: I'm sorry. First I can't post the chapter on time last week, then I post the wrong chapter. I replaced it as soon as I realised, so sorry to anyone who saw the wrong one, the right one is there now, and has been for a couple of days. I suppose I deserve the drop in reviews, but it would be nice to have some more this week, hint, hint. Anyway, thank you if you bothered to read this long, pointless authors note. On with the chapter.

**Chapter Eleven**

'Alright, you are all here; I hope you are competent enough to figure, because there is a crisis,' all present hastened to nod, 'we have an unknown fairy or group of fairies organising weddings above ground for large amounts of gold. You will, of course, understand what this means,' more furious nodding, 'Haven is under threat. The fairy or fairies are putting our civilisation at risk. We must act. We need to urgently put together a pair of officers to infiltrate this organisation. They will pretend to be a young couple looking for a surface wedding, tracked so that the LEP can get to them and bust the operation at an awkward moment for the perp. This mission is completely voluntary as it may involve what would normally be thought of as "inappropriate" behaviour,' Julius suddenly sounded gruff, thought Holly, as though he was uncomfortable talking about this, interesting she thought, by this time Julius had cleared his throat and was continuing, 'such as… um' he cleared his throat again. He really didn't want to say this, 'kissing.'

He clearly wanted to move off this subject so continued, 'all officers who consider themselves too old step to the side.' A good half of those present stepped aside, 'all remaining officers, you have thirty minutes to decide whether you wish to go or not, you must slip a note into my mail inbox by this time. Go.'

'Holly, I want you to wait in my office for this half hour.'

'Major Kelp,' he called, 'come here.'

Trouble was confused; he wondered what he could have done wrong this time. He was all too ready to volunteer for this mission. He was young enough to go, and never stopped to think about dangerous missions. He wouldn't have a problem with kissing another LEP officer (probably Frond, he thought) plus there would be a possibility of a fire fight. He had not stopped to think that Holly might be the girl; she was, after all, a mate and a sister to him, not just some random girl.

Trouble and Holly followed Julius to his office in silence. Trouble wondered if Holly knew what Root wanted to speak to her about; he thought she must, as she looked oddly apprehensive about something. Little did he know that in half an hour she was probably going to find out which random member of the LEP she would have to go on the mission with.

Once they were in his office Julius turned to Trouble, 'Trouble, you can't volunteer for this mission.'

'What? But sir I'm perfectly happy to.'

'You won't be once you find out who the girl is.'

'And who is the girl, sir?' Trouble was devastated, now he had been told he couldn't go on this mission he wanted to more than anything, he was like that.

'Me,' said Holly before Julius could answer.

'You're right, I don't want to go on the mission,' He now no longer did want to go, 'sorry Holly, I didn't know.'

'It's cool. How could you have?'

Trouble didn't know how to answer her so he turned to the Commander.

'You can't send her with anyone who'll take advantage of this. Please sir.'

'I wasn't planning to. Don't worry Trouble. Your sister will be fine.' Julius almost grinned. But Commander's don't grin. Definitely not. And they don't _giggle_ either. He didn't know what had come over him the other day with Holly. It must have been the drugs. Strange things happen to elves a week after they've been on drugs in a hospital. Sure they do.

'Excuse me,' burst out Holly. She wondered why everyone was being so over-protective of her. 'Why am being discussed like I am not in the room? And you being over protective better not be because I am a girl.'

Both males looked like they didn't have an answer to this question thought Holly with grim triumph. But then Trouble managed to jump in with an answer.

'It's not because you're a girl Holly, it's because you are you and we don't want some jerk to take advantage of your orders.'

'Right,' said Holly. But both Julius and Trouble could tell she didn't believe it for a second. This was probably because it wasn't true. She was very special to both of them because she was the only girl either of them cared about or respected. Fortunately for the males of the room Holly decided to let it drop.

The rest of the half hour was very tense; they were now waiting to find out who Holly would have to go with, all for different reasons. Finally the Commander went to get the notes he had been slipped.

There were only thirty notes to look through as only thirty men fitted the Commander's original criteria. Amazingly they all contained reasons why the person who wrote them didn't want to go on the mission. The most common was, of course, "My girlfriend/wife/partner would kick my ass if I went". Some of the more open men had even put, 'I'd be running for cover already if my wife was Captain Short." This made Holly angry. She wasn't violent, she just demanded the respect she deserved.

'So it's back to the drawing board then,' said Julius, already in the process of grabbing the communications microphone thingy off of his desk. Having successfully managed this (his desk being messy it was not the easiest of tasks) he said loudly into it (like it wouldn't magnify his voice throughout the entire building) 'I want all officers that I told to give me notes in the situations room now.' He put down the microphone thingy, unfortunately his desk was messy, and he had forgotten to turn it off. All the ears in Police Plaza were treated to a nice loud grating screech; courtesy of the floor. No one would comment, of course. If the Commander wanted to make them all deaf, it was his business. After all, as he delights in telling everyone "Commander is always right".

Five minutes later when all officers involved were sitting in the situations room.

'None of you wished to go with Holly,' said Julius. The men suddenly understood why they had been called back. All had been sure Trouble Kelp would volunteer. He was always ready to go on a mission and had no attachments (i.e. girlfriends) to speak of as far as anyone knew. But everyone knew by now that he was Holly's brother, and he was not such a pervert as to kiss his own sister. This was how all the Captains and Majors eligible to go realised that the girl was Holly.

The one saving grace for Holly was that there was no way she would be paired with Verbil as he had been demoted to Private and Root had not asked anyone below Captain to go on the mission with her. She was very grateful to him for this.

'Would any of you like to reconsider your decision?'

The Captains and Majors turned to each other and began to whisper. At last one of the braver Captains emerged and said, 'I'm sorry sir, none of us feel that it would be in the mission's best interests for us to go. We have a suggestion though sir.'

'What is it?' asked Julius in a deceptively calm voice, ready to blow up if they suggested Verbil. He would not inflict that on Holly.

A/N: I know I got a drop in reviews last chapter, but I don't write this just for reviews, although I won't lie, I do like getting reviews. Thanks for reading.

_Review Replies_

_-anon-anon-anon- : _No, you're right, I didn't. I changed it though, I'm so sorry, I usually check all the chapters before I post them, so something like this doesn't happen, but then I was in such a rush to get this one up because it was so late… I'm sorry.

_lalalalala - _Now if I confirmed or denied that it wouldn't be a surprise… would it now?

_hidden and forgotten - _I am keeping up the updating, until the story is finished. Still a few more chapters to go. You don't have to do anything to persuade me to keep updating. Unless I die, in which case I probably won't finish updating this. Thanks, I glad you like it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

**WARNING: **any part of this story from this point forwards (and probably some before it) may contain OOCness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it work any other way.

A/N: A great big thanks to everyone who reviewed. Updates are back to normal now, or as normal as my updates of this story ever are.

**Chapter Twelve**

'_What is it?' asked Julius in a deceptively calm voice, ready to blow up if they suggested Verbil. He would not inflict that on Holly. _

'Well sir, if you can't find anyone else and are not willing to send someone other than one of us why don't you go with her, meaning no disrespect sir.'

Julius was surprised. The suggestion wasn't actually that bad. Thinking about it there really was no other option of who to send, there was no one he would allow to go who was willing and he would never force his men to participate in this, no matter how much he cared about Holly.

'I think it is a good idea,' said Trouble.

Julius took a deep breath, it was now or never, he would have to go with Holly. Hope flickered inside him. Maybe they would hit it off. He doubted it though. It was silly to hope.

Unbeknown to him almost exactly the same thoughts were flickering inside Holly's head except hers involved "I hope he will go with me".

'Fine, I will go with Holly if she doesn't mind,' he turned to Holly, 'do you mind?'

Holly pretended to think it over, her head screaming to her "Of course I don't let's get going right now!"

Finally she opened her mouth and said, 'I do not object.'

'Well, that's settled then,' said Trouble quickly, noticing that the two of them were staring at each other and most likely were incapable of making sure that they did not make fools of themselves in front of the Captains and Majors, 'you are all dismissed.'

Everyone except Julius, Holly and Trouble exited the room. Trouble turned to Julius and Holly and cleared his throat. They both come to their senses and turn to face him.

'Thanks for that Trouble, We were a bit asleep there,' said Holly apologetically.

'It's fine.'

The discussion got no further than that because Foaly chose that exact moment to walk into the room.

'Hey, I heard you two are going on this in love young couple mission. How did you manage that Julius?'

'Don't call me Julius pony.'

'Whatever. You two do realise you can't go in your uniform.'

'Yes, we aren't stupid Foaly.'

'I don't think he meant to imply you were stupid Holly,' said Trouble, 'I think he was implying that neither of you own anything exactly suiting the modern young couple look.'

'True,' admitted Commander Root grudgingly.

'Well, I have an old friend that can set you up with the new look kit, she's an expert,' said Trouble as he left to call her.

'And you can't go as Julius and Holly,' pointed out Foaly, 'you are two of the best known people in the LEP by name.'

Again Julius grudgingly admitted that Foaly was right.

'Well I'll make up some fake ID's for you. Julius, you can be Jake. Holly you can be Tanya.' Foaly purposely chose common fairy names. They would be less conspicuous than Julius' and Holly's original names.

Holly and Julius were left for the next half hour to discuss details and get to know each other better in general and discuss what they would do. Foaly would do all the technical bits for them; they just had to be the actors.

The two were just finishing off their discussion, having made as many plans as possible in the time before they left, including, of course, "we only kiss if we have to", when Foaly entered Julius' office (they had migrated there from the Situations Room).

'Hiya you two. How's it going?'

'No time for that pony,' snapped Julius.

Foaly looked distinctly put out, but he replied simply, 'I've got concealable weapons for you. And your fake ID's, here,' and he stuffed a whole heap of electronic junk and ID cards into their hands. Holly was devastated to see her picture had her face covered with makeup and with shoulder length black hair with purple streaks.

'I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS!' she screeched, going absolutely ballistic.

'I know you don't sweetie, but I had to make you look different, you would be too recognisable with red hair. I know you would never look like that.'

Julius was devastated. Seeing how uncomfortable the new look made Holly feel made him feel guilty. Especially as he didn't look any different from how he currently looked.

'Why don't I look any different if that's the case?'

Holly was very relieved that he was coming to rescue, so to speak. Unfortunately she was not going to get out of the black and purple hair. Deep down she knew it.

'Because, Jake,' he emphasised the new name. Best to get them used to them. If either lapsed and called the other by their real name the entire mission would be sunk, 'you look a lot different to the last time the public saw you anyway. Since you had the ulcer removed.'

Julius had to admit Foaly was right. It was devastating, but true.

They did not have any more time to dwell on their "looks" for the mission as at that moment Trouble walked in the door accompanied by a beautiful elf Holly had never seen before.

'Hi Holly, hi Commander.'

'Jake and Tanya,' hissed Foaly.

'Oh, right, new names, got it.'

'OK, Jake and Tanya, I would like to introduce you to Cynthia, an old mate of mine. Cynthia, Jake and Tanya,' he indicated first to the girl and secondly to Julius and Holly.

'And I'm Foaly,' chimed in Foaly. He didn't much like being left out of the loop on things like this.

'Hi,' smiled Cynthia.

'Commander…Jake, Cynthia is here to get Holly ready she's going to do her hair and get her clothes that a normal chick would wear. Not that you aren't normal H…Tanya,' he added.

'Do you mind? Tanya?' queried Julius.

'I suppose I don't have a choice,' muttered Holly.

'Great,' said Cynthia. She and Holly left the room. Holly looking like she was about to go on the worst ride imaginable at a theme park.

When they had left Julius turned to Trouble.

A/N: I hate writing shopping scenes, yet they always seem to appear in my stories. Worrying. Not this chapter, but next.

_Review Replies:_

_hidden and forgotten: _ok. I enjoy updating, and I'm glad that you like that I'm updating,

_-anon-anon-anon-:_ Was it that obvious that Root was going to go?

_sergeantstan: _I don't think you did. But I'm over that now. Some people seemed to find what was going to happen exceedingly obvious, so I have no idea what you were thinking, but it was probably right.

_refloc: _Now why would you find that amusing?

_refloc: _I suppose they are only reviews. I'm over that now, anyway. Was it that obvious?

_potter-Dork: _was it that obvious that Julius was going to go? I'm not very good at cliff hangers if so many people can work out what is going to happen.

_Nia: _Thanks for reviewing this chapter. I'm very grateful, naturally. I review every time I read something. I agree, it is only fair.

_Stiggy: _Good luck with that. I cannot believe it was that obvious to almost everyone that Julius was going to have to go. Thanks for reviewing.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

**WARNING: **any part of this story from this point forwards (and probably some before it) may contain OOCness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it work any other way.

A/N: I am so very grateful. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would get 100 reviews on a story. I know it's not the most anyone has ever got, but it is still a good thing in my mind, so thank you to everybody who reviewed. With no further ado, on with the story.

**Chapter Thirteen**

'Kelp, you'll be in charge while I'm on this mission. It will be your job to get the teams ready to storm in.'

'Yes sir. Oh, and sir, don't think I forgot about getting you ready to go. You're coming with me while the girls are out getting Holly's stuff.'

Now Julius had understood how Holly had felt when Cynthia had led her out of the room. But he nodded glumly and allowed Trouble to lead him out through the same doors and Cynthia had led Holly out of. Holly walked here! He thought excitedly. Then he realised he becoming obsessive and quickly drove those thoughts from his mind.

It was almost unbearable for Holly being dragged around shops buying clothes. She was shocked by some of the stuff that Cynthia chose for her. It wasn't at all like what Cynthia was wearing.

The worst shock came when Cynthia dragged her into a hair dresser and started giving orders for Holly's hair styling.

'Hi, I need my friend's hair done,' said Cynthia smoothly. Or course, thought Holly, it will be less conspicuous if she is my friend and I'm not just some random LEP officer she's never met before.

'I want it extended to her shoulders and dyed black. It needs to have purple streaks,' she turned to Holly, 'is your hair curly? I can't remember.' (A/N: fairy hair extensions involve making the actual hair longer, i.e. making it grow at an accelerated rate.)

'I dunno, it's never been longer than this.'

The hairdresser was slightly confused. If they were friends they certainly weren't acting like it. Cynthia didn't even know if her supposed "friend's" hair was curly or not.

Cynthia turned back to the hairdresser, 'If it is curly I need it permanently straightened. How long will it take?'

'For all that? About two hours.'

'TWO HOURS!' exploded Holly, 'I WILL NEVER SPEND THAT LONG ON MY _HAIR_.'

'Yes you will,' snapped Cynthia. The hair dresser was by now thoroughly disbelieving as to their friendship. Cynthia steered Holly into a chair, took out the restraining straps Trouble had given her and with the help of six hairdressers strapped a struggling Holly into a chair so she couldn't move a muscle. Holly gave up fighting when she knew it was useless.

Two hours later they released holly and showed her a mirror. Her hair looked exactly as it did in the picture. She screamed. Literally. Everyone in the room was left holding their ears.

'You look fine Holly,' said Cynthia. Holly noticed how Cynthia used her real name in an attempt to calm her.

Cynthia decided not to try and calm Holly again. Maybe Holly's brother would be better at that. She led Holly silently back to Police Plaza. Holly had her jacket wrapped around her head and was getting some very odd looks from fairies on the street. She didn't care. She wouldn't let anyone see her hair. Cynthia was terribly embarrassed by being associated with Holly at this point but thought she might get floored if she said anything so remained silent. She couldn't even remember why she had agreed to help Trouble on this.

Trouble and Julius were waiting impatiently for the two girls. They both wondered why girls always took so long to get anywhere when it involved fashion. They had arrived back three hours earlier, one reason being that they did not need hair done, the other being that men weren't nearly as picky about their clothing.

They were beginning to get worried about the girls when Cynthia dragged Holly, who, oddly enough, had her hair covered with a jacket, through the door to Julius' office.

'Holly, it can't be that bad,' said Trouble, walking over to her as he spoke.

'Just take the jacket off Holly, we wont laugh at you,' said Julius encouragingly.

Cynthia noticed that Holly seemed to draw strength from the two men in the room. Holly took a deep breath and removed the jacket.

Both men were pleasantly surprised, the hair really suited Holly. It was dead straight and made her look just like any of the young models in the magazines. Julius somehow knew he would never loose Holly to a modelling career.

'It looks good, Tanya,' he told her. He had a feeling she would clobber him if he associated her new hair style with the old Holly.

_"Holly looks so lost,"_ thought Trouble. He thought that maybe this would throw her and she would realise that she was actually a girl. He winked at her and put her arm around her. She leaned on him for a brief second then stood up and turned to Cynthia.

'Thanks for everything,' she said.

'No problem, any time. But I should probably be going now. Nice meeting you Holly.' Holly glowered at her, and Cynthia decided it was best for her to make an exit. She waved at the male occupants of the room.

With that Cynthia left the room. Soon after Foaly walked into the room. He looked at Holly's hair, looked a little startled for a moment, then told her that it looked good. He wasn't joking. It did look good. Although he wasn't sure if it exactly suited his best friend's personality.

'Now really isn't the time to discuss looks too much,' said Julius, 'let's get this briefing over then we can get into our costumes and get going.'

'OK,' began Foaly, 'I've rented an apartment in your new names and hacked the records so it looks like you two have lived there for eight months. The key code is 9125483. You have your documentation, everything but your everyday ID cards are stored at the apartment. Everything you will need to stay there is stored at the apartment. The extra cloths and sleepwear you brought today are already stored there. You both have one outfit to change into to go and see them soon. And we managed to get wedding clothes in your sizes and transport them there. The gold you will need is in a safe at the bottom of your wardrobe. The code for the safe is 584126. The gold is fake. You two have to remember to act totally obsessed with each other and totally in love. Whatever you do don't forget to call each other by your fake names. I think that you will be tailed and bugged and the such after you leave the place where you book your wedding, they won't want you to get cold feet and run to tell the LEP about their little operation. Julius, whatever you do don't order Holy around, you aren't higher ranked than her in this, remember that,' Julius nodded. 'You will both be implanted with untraceable tracking devices,' several eyebrows were raised, 'I mean they can't be detected but we can track you.'

'Sure.' Like they actually got what he was saying when he spoke technobabble.

'There won't be iris-cams on this mission due to its slightly sensitive nature,' finished Foaly.

Holly was very relieved. At least the LEP wouldn't see her kissing her Commander.

Julius was thinking exactly the same thing, except it involved an officer that he a slight obsession with.

Foaly continued to spout details of the mission for another half hour.

'Well, now that that is settled you should get dressed and go, shouldn't you, Tanya, Jake?'

'Yes,' sighed Julius, at exactly the same moment as Holly replied to Foaly's question in almost a pleading manner.

'No,' she pleaded.

What actually ended up emerging was a kind of 'Nyes.'

They decided to give it another go. Unfortunately they both tried this at the same time.

'Yes,' mumbled Holly in a resigned manner.

Unfortunately at exactly the same time as Julius replied 'No,' while looking at Holly worriedly. She wasn't scared, was she? The Holly he knew wasn't scared of anything.

What emerged this time was a kind of 'Yno,' sound.

Foaly looked from Julius to Holly and started laughing. Even when they both started getting redder and redder and looking at him with murderous looks in their eyes he didn't stop cackling.

_"This is hilarious," _was, for once, the only thought running through his head.

'Shut it,' yelled Holly, before grabbing her bag and stormed out of the room and towards the female bathrooms.

Behind her Julius did the same thing, except for muttering to Foaly something involving budget's. He also stormed towards the male bathrooms, in case you were wondering.

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A/N: I would again like to thank people for reviewing. I'm not going to let review be the be all and end all of my life or anything, I just like to know that people appreciate what I give my time to write (plus, if you review you get your own snazzy reply at the bottom of the next chapter).

_Review Replies:_

_Nia: _Thank you for reviewing. I'm glad you like it.

_potter-Dork:_ Hmm, I suppose so. Not intended as a cliff hanger, just happened to be where the story ended. Thanks.

_sergeantstan: _it was kind of obvious, looking at it. Hmm, I just noticed that there is one in three of my four stories, and yet I absolutely despise shopping. I swear I do, and I just like making Holly uncomfortable in them I suppose. There will not be a shopping scene in my latest fic.

_hidden and forgotten: _One thing I would never do is let Holly actually _enjoy_ a shopping scene, that would be just wrong. No, I only write shopping scenes in order to try and see how the little picture of Holly sitting in my mind would react when dragged into a shopping centre against her will. Thanks.

_Stiggy: _I don't reveal secrets like exactly what happens. Then no one would read it to find out… Never looked. Now I'm going to. If I ever actually get to see that movie. It was on TV once, and I had to study for an exam the next day… grrr. Like I said, if I reveal secrets like that no one would ever read my stories to find out what happens.

_-anon-anon-anon-:_ It was obvious. I admit it. At least it's only purple streaks… I suppose.

_wackywildcrazy: _This is my only HollyRoot. I might write more in the future, but as yet I have not come up with any ideas. Thanks for saying you like this though. And yes I can decipher that in IM talk. You would be surprised how much time I spend talking to people on MSN. Thanks for reviewing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

**WARNING: **any part of this story from this point forwards (and probably some before it) may contain OOCness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it work any other way.

A/N: What is it with teachers and loading you up with assignments and tests in the first week back at school? I swear I'm going to fall asleep just as soon as I click the button that I need to click to post this. Right, well you don't need to hear anymore about that, on with the chapter.

**Chapter Fourteen**

Twenty minutes later Holly emerged from the bathroom, having changed into her excuse for clothing and put on, to her eternal shame, makeup.

She made a quick dash to Julius' office and entered. Julius was already standing by his desk.

'What took you so long?' he asked. Then he looked up and saw her. She had competed the look alike model image perfectly. She had put on makeup perfectly and her outfit was stunning.

'Don't answer that.'

'I wasn't going to. And Trouble, never get one of you friends to give me a new look again.'

Trouble had to admit his sister looked stunning. If she hadn't been his sister he would definitely have gone on this mission with her. Julius was very lucky. At least Julius was going with her. He wouldn't take advantage of her.

'You look stunning Tanya,' said Julius.

'Hmmm. You look good,' said Holly, ignoring the comment about herself. She wasn't lying; Julius really did look very hot. He had on tight jeans and a tight black top that showed off his new muscles perfectly.

Julius was amazed at how good Holly looked. She would have half the males in Haven hitting on her. She was wearing red fish-net tights, knee high black boots with a high heel, a dark denim mini skirt and a halter neck top. (A/N: don't ask why I have either of them dressed up like this, especially Holly, it was just what I could least imagine them wearing if they had a choice. Plus, Holly needed to look somewhat like a slut for this.) Holly was having trouble not falling out of the high heels.

'Right,' said a thoroughly shocked Foaly. He was having a shocking day. The two people he could never imagine dressed like young people would normally dress were standing in front of him dressed in that way. Holly especially looked like a model that had stepped out of a photo shoot. Her hair had been grown and died black with purple streaks and everything, 'well, you two should get going then. I sent an anonymous email to the suspected perps and they are going to meet you here,' he jabbed at a map showing a warehouse located in an abandoned area of Haven (definitely dodgy), 'in about an hour. So you need to go. Don't forget your key codes.'

Holly and Julius nodded, suddenly realising that they were no longer Holly and Julius, but Tanya and Jake. They left Police Plaza and walked towards their destination in silence.

An hour later they were waiting in the building, trying took look not too relaxed, not too scared. A door clanged and someone about the right height to be a fairy stepped through the door.

'What do you want?' he asked. His voice was certainly male.

'We want a surface wedding. Can you help us?' asked Julius.

'Who are you?'

'I'm Jake, this is Tanya.'

'Why would you think I could give you a surface wedding?'

'A friend of a friend told me about you. I, like, really want a surface wedding,' replied Holly.

'How do I know you aren't trying to set me up?'

'You don't. We don't know if you're trying to set us up.'

'So can you, like, give us a surface wedding?'

'You aren't acting much like a couple from where I'm standing.'

D'arvit, thought Holly. He knows we aren't together. Luckily for her she didn't panic in the field. She thought quickly. She could see only one way to convince this guy that she was in love with Julius. She turned around, lifted her arms and wrapped them around him (he was slightly taller than her) and kissed him. Tongue and all. Neither Julius nor Holly could believe she had done it, but neither would ruin the mission and let it show on their faces.

A slightly breathless Holly turned to the unknown guy, 'believe me now? I just didn't, like, want to gross you out. So can you give us a wedding or not'

The kiss had done its job. The guy was now convinced that they did actually want a surface wedding and were actually in love. Holly and Julius were good actors.

'It'll cost you a lot.'

'How much?'

'50,000 gold coins.'

'That's a lot of money Tanya. You still want the wedding?'

Julius snaked his arm around Holly's waist as he said this. Now that the perp had told them about the weddings it would get dangerous. He needed to believe that Holly and Julius weren't lying.

When Holly felt Julius' arm around her waist she stiffened for a split second, but she couldn't let this show. She thought that it actually felt quite good. She pulled a stick of gum out of her pocket (it was all the craze with the young fairies these days to be chewing gum) and leaned her head on Julius' shoulder as she chewed nonchalantly. She could not believe she was acting like this, with her commanding officer!

'I say crack open the safe, we're going to the surface.'

'I expect payment in full. Then we can smuggle you to the surface tomorrow. It's too risky to wait longer than one night for payment.'

This confirmed their suspicions, well Foaly's suspicions, they would be followed and it would be made sure they didn't tell the LEP about the operation. Holly noted that she could hear other people breathing in the room. And she could see several concealed bits of cam-foil. Julius could see this too. This would eventually develop into a fire fight.

'Where will the wedding be?' asked Holly, 'I'm not paying to get married in the middle of some polluted city or in the Arctic.'

'The wedding will be held on Tiritiri Matangi.'

Holly recognised the language. It was Maori, and the particular name meant 'tossed by the wind'. What she wasn't sure of was where Tiritiri Matangi was. She assumed it must be somewhere in New Zealand.

Julius got there first.

'Tiritiri Matangi?' he queried.

'It's an island which is a bird sanctuary. Such birds as the Takahe live there.'

Now both Holly and Julius remembered where they had heard the name before. Tiritiri Matangi was an island situated thirty kilometres north east of Auckland. The biggest city in New Zealand. It was a major attraction for both tourists and locals and attracted around thirty three thousand visitors annually. They both realised the seriousness of the situation. There were many visitors on the island. All looking carefully to spot something, any members of the People would be spotted easily. This elf and his buddies were putting the entire underground civilisation at risk. And all for a tremendous amount of gold. What greed could do to people was terrible.

They both realised they had been silent for a full minute. The guy was looking at them oddly. Holly came to the rescue.

A/N: We're nearing the end… But still a few more chapters. Please review.

_Review Replies:_

_xXxTroubleKelpxXx: _argh, this is the last time I'm going to say this, but your name appears to resemble mine, I'm not the only one :) … Trouble is my favourite character. I'm sure she is angry.

_refloc: _I can't remember. But t'was obvious. Thanks. I look forward to it.

_refloc: _Thanks.

_lalalalalalalala: _hmmm, I suppose that can be arranged.

_wackywildcrazy: _thanks.

_sergeantstan: _thanks.

_potter-Dork: _Thanks :) 111 I think, close enough though. Merci.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

**WARNING: **any part of this story from this point forwards (and probably some before it) may contain OOCness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it work any other way.

A/N: I take back what I said about last week being bad. I'm not even going to comment on this week, just click the button before I fall asleep on the keyboard.

**Chapter Fifteen**

'Cool,' she said then leaned over and kissed Julius, more passionately this time, 'thanks so much, sir.' She really couldn't believe she what she was doing, or that she was calling a criminal 'sir', but she'd already made a fool or herself, might as well do a good job of it.

'What time do you want to see us tomorrow?' asked Julius.

'Ten P.M. Come in whatever you want to wear to get married.'

'Thanks,' said Holly again. If you didn't know better you would have sworn she was absolutely ecstatic about the prospect of a surface wedding. 'Come on Jake, I want to show you the dress again.' (fairies don't have that stupid suspicion about not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding day.)

They turned to leave. Just before they were out the door the guy called to them.

'Don't think about selling us out to the LEP.' With that he turned and walked away. Just before they again turned to leave Holly and Julius both noticed a few shimmers walk towards them. They knew they would definitely be watched all night. It was going to be interesting. But it meant they would have to act like a couple all night, meaning they had to keep the act up. They would, of course, not be ..uh… sleeping together, that would be wrong, but if asked, they were going to come out with all that rubbish about waiting until married.

As they left Holly spat out her gum and snaked her own hand around Julius' waist. They definitely looked like the perfect couple. They walked back to their apartment slowly, they didn't want to get lost, how would they explain that they didn't know where their own home was located?

They walked mostly in silence, a lot closer than they would have done under normal circumstances. When they reached their front door Julius said to Holly, or rather Jake said to Tanya, 'I get to carry you over this threshold tomorrow, you'll be my missus.'

Holly just beamed at his in what she hoped would be a convincing way.

'What are we doing tonight?' Holly asked Julius.

'Well, I rented a movie. We could watch that. Take it easy before the big day. We wouldn't want bags under our eyes now, would we?'

'Good idea. Definitely not.'

'Well that's settled then. Should we go in?'

With that they walked through the door and into their apartment. Foaly had shown then a floor plan and told Julius where he would find the bedroom, complete with TV and rented video sitting on top. Holly had to admire the centaur's planning. He had even had some interns put little bits of clutter around the house so that it looked lived in.

They walked into the bedroom and Holly flopped onto the bed, looking for all the world like a tired elf flopping down. Not that she was tired, she was perfectly alert. But the perps weren't to know that.

Julius put the video into he player (fairies don't use DVD's. What do you think they are? Barbarians? They use videodiscs, which they shorten to video) then flopped onto the bed and put his arms around Holly's shoulders. It was a sloppy romantic movie. Something neither of them would ever have watched, but they managed to look interested, and kissed at all the parts where couples who were actually in love would kiss if they were watching the sloppy romantic shit. Julius got up and turned the TV off when the movie had finished. They had each drunk a protein shake during the movie so did not need an evening meal.

It was getting late. It had been a long and eventful day for both of them so they both changed into their sleepwear (Julius found an excuse to go into the bathroom, he didn't have to see Holly naked after all, which actually wouldn't have been that bad… he mentally slapped himself for thinking that) and climbed into bed.

To keep it believable they 'snuggled' up to each other. Julius began to kiss holly and Holly kissed him back. They soon fell asleep. Julius had his arms wrapped around Holly, and Holly had ended up with her head resting on his chest. For some odd reason Holly didn't really mind this at all. She couldn't explain why, it just felt right.

Julius' last thought as he fell asleep was how much he cared for the beautiful elf lying in his arms.

Julius awoke to Holly gently shaking him awake, 'Morning,' she said to him. It was amazing how she could keep up this act for so long, thought Julius. Unless of course it wasn't an act and she really cared about him, he again reprimanded himself for thinking this.

Holly grabbed a couple of nettle smoothies out of the fridge and chucked one to Julius. They drank their breakfast in silence sitting on the end of their bed. Julius had his arm around Holly.

When Holly went to the mirror to brush her teeth she got a shock. Her hair would actually need brushing. Luckily Foaly had thought of this eventuality (she would owe him a carton of carrots) and had provided a hairbrush for her, or rather, made an intern put it in the bathroom.

Brushing hair is a lot harder than it looks, thought Holly. Girls weren't given credit for it nearly enough.

Julius was getting worried. There were some very odd squeaking noises issuing from the bathroom which Holly had entered fifteen minutes previously in order to brush her teeth. He knocked on the door, 'Tanya, are you alright in there?' he called.

A slightly distressed sounding Holly answered, 'I'm trying to brush my hair.'

Julius nearly cracked. He really did. The thought of Holly brushing her hair was most amusing, as all she had ever had before now was a crew cut. He managed to contain his chuckle and went to his wardrobe to get the fifty thousand gold coins out. He knelt on the floor and keyed in the key code. He picked up the bag of gold coins. Wow, he thought, looking at them, the centaur is good, these could pass for real even under scrutiny.

Half and hour later Holy emerged from the bathroom. She had managed to brush her hair. It had proved very difficult to tie it back in an elegant manner, but she had managed to tie it up into a fairly neat ponytail.

'Let's get dressed!' she said excitedly. Both she and Julius were surprised to hear how realistic it sounded.

It took another half hour for Holly to struggle into her dress. She was not happy to be wearing a dress. It would be a great disadvantage to her in any fight. At least Foaly had chosen her a dress with big splits in the side so she had maximum manoeuvrability.

Julius couldn't get over how stunning Holly looked in the dress. Sure, she had looked stunning yesterday, but this was a different kind of stunning. She looked, beautiful. Julius suddenly realised he really was attracted to Holly.

Holly couldn't get over how handsome Julius looked. He really scrubbed up well. His suit was a perfect fit for him. She suddenly realised just how attractive she found him. It was scary.

Both found themselves thinking that they wouldn't mind if they did actually have to get married at this point in time.

Without knowing what they were doing they stepped together and kissed. It was a magical moment and perfect for the mission. Not that either of them were thinking that. The mission part, they were both thinking the magical part. Even if they weren't complete sops.

The people who were watching them were now thoroughly convinced that the two were madly in love and were not going to betray the business to the LEP. It was a constant threat with a business like this. If one couple got cold feet and told the LEP then the whole business was down the drain. So far they had been lucky, little did they know.

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_Review Replies:_

_Stiggy: _yayness! You have no idea how long I waited to write that bit, when I desperately wanted to. Oh, very pretty, not exactly filled with people, but enough people go there for a gift shop to be present. Lovely place though, Takahe in particular are very cute. Not even Foaly would get to keep his job if he did that… Hmmm, you never know, how do you know your slave isn't right? Thanks for reviewing.

_wackywildcrazy: _thanks :)

_refloc: _ aha, that's why they do that. Hmm, H/J is good, and enjoyable, yet difficult to write, such a danger of it being much too… well, out of character. Not that I can talk. I have a feeling, however, that the AF fandom is moving more towards Holly/an-elf-from-the-book (Trouble or Julius) pairings recently, from what I have noticed. There are still the staunch AH supporters, and it is highly likely there always will be, but a lot of new blood is appearing, and not all of it is leaning towards AH.

_potter-Dork: _thanks.

_sergeantstan: _thanks. Yes, only a few more chapters.

Thanks to everyone who reads this, and a great big thanks to everyone who reviews. To those of you who read and do not review: a review will earn you your own snazzy reply. To those of you who read and review: thank you so much!


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

**WARNING: **any part of this story from this point forwards (and probably some before it) may contain OOCness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it work any other way.

A/N: Long story, but I'm sorry I'm a day late with the chapter, now on with the chapter.

**Chapter Sixteen**

Holly and Julius soon decided that they should get going. They had somewhere to be at 10PM after all. Even if they weren't there for the reasons the person who had told them to be there thought they would be there for.

As they walked out the door Julius picked up the bag of fake coins.

'It's a lot of money Tanya. You are sure you want to do this?'

'Of course I am Jake. I love you.'

This little conversation had been orchestrated. They didn't want to seem like they were too keen to part with the money.

Julius' heart fluttered; even if it had only been acting Holly had said she loved him.

Holly was amazed at how right it felt to have finally admitted that she was in love with him. Even if she wasn't admitting it really, and was admitting it as the make believe person Tanya to the make believe person Jake.

It was only a half hour walk to where they had met the guy the previous day. They got some very funny looks as they walked through the streets in their wedding attire. The apartment was situated in the opposite direction from the building that Police Plaza was, to alleviate more suspicions.

They arrived at 9.59PM, one minute earlier than they were meant to be there. They knew that the LEP now had two fully armed retrieval squads led by Trouble Kelp following them. Keeping a discreet distance, of course. The squads had been following them since they had left the apartment that morning. Holly and Julius themselves weren't armed as they would most likely be submitted to a weapons check and it was impossible to conceal big murderous weapons.

At exactly 10PM the guy they had met yesterday entered the room. Followed by many shimmers and a few other guys that they had not met yesterday.

He didn't bother with niceties.

'These are some of my associates. They are going to help transport you to the surface. Where's the gold?'

Julius stepped forward and gave it to him. The guy counted it and observed it, obviously checking to make sure it wasn't counterfeit.

'Is it all good?' grunted one of the men behind him.

'Yes. Search them.'

Without warning Holly and Julius were submitted to a search for weapons. It was a very thorough search. Holly made all the right indignant noises when the men began to pay extra attention to her breasts. Julius was going to say something to them but they finally stopped. They ran scanners up and down Holly and Julius.

'No weapons or bugs,' they reported.

'Good. Take them to the shuttle.'

Very oddly Holly chose that exact moment to say loudly, 'Gee, I really like bananas.'

All occupants of the room looked at her strangely, slightly worried for her sanity. Every occupant of the room except Julius, that is, who was already spinning to catch the two guns that were sailing across the room towards him, courtesy of Trouble. He caught them deftly and chucked one to Holly.

"Bananas" had of course been the codeword that the tracking devices were designed to pick up on. When Holly said bananas the LEP operatives standing silently outside the door had burst inside, guns raised. Trouble himself had thrown two weapons to Commander Root. One was for Holly.

'You are under arrest for offering illegal passage to the surface and risking the exposure of Haven,' said Commander Root. He didn't get any further because it was at that moment that a fire fight began.

The figures from below the cam foil had materialised and started firing at the LEP Retrieval teams.

Julius turned to Holly. 'Holly, get down and get out now.'

At Police Plaza he had briefed her that if a fire fight developed she was to get out of the room as quickly as possible because she would be at a great disadvantage while wearing the dress. She had protested greatly at this order. She did not see why she should miss out on a fire fight. Julius had managed to persuade her that she should listen to his orders on this matter. Little did he know that she had no plans to do anything of the sort.

Julius knew deep down that she wouldn't accept this order, that she would disobey it, but he had to give it to her. He wasn't really sure why he cared, she was just another of his officers, all he would have to do would be to discipline her for her actions at a later date. Besides, technically they needed all the officers they could get in this fight. The numbers in the LEP had gone down since Holly had been kidnapped, it had hit home to some of the younger fairies just how dangerous a job at the LEP was. Yet somehow he knew that punishing Holly would not be the solution. He cared too much about her. He couldn't accept that she might possibly get hurt because of a disadvantage she was at. He cared so much for her. He knew she was just an officer but couldn't stop himself being in love with her, couldn't stop himself treating her like a porcelain doll.

He was now scared out of his wits. Something that didn't happen very often. He had realised only this morning just how deeply he was in love with Holly. And now here she was in the middle of the fight, armed, and in a dress, which meant she would insist on fighting at a great disadvantage.

'Holly, please…' he began to say. She interrupted him. She was already shooting over her shoulder. More of them just seemed to come.

'No Commander. I'm on this mission. I don't run. I'm going to finish this fight.'

Julius didn't know what to say.

A/N: The end of another chapter. Getting very near the end now. I'm going to miss publishing this. Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviews, and please review.

_Review Replies:_

_wackywildcrazy : _haha, thanks. Thanks for reviewing.

_sergeantstan: _Thanks for reviewing.

_potter-Dork: _Thanks for reviewing, it does begin to happen fast over the end, for some odd reason. Look at it this way: less annoyingly dragged out cliffies.

_LadySara05: _ thanks. I'm honoured. This isn't the end yet, but there isn't much more. I estimate two more chapters after this. Possibly an epilogue… Thanks for reviewing.

_refloc: _oh, I didn't say A/H wasn't always going to exist. It appears to be inevitable. Hmm, I await whatever you are up to publishing. Thanks for reviewing.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

**WARNING: **any part of this story from this point forwards (and probably some before it) may contain OOCness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it work any other way.

A/N: Hi, all. I'm so sorry I haven't updated for rather a long time, and I have a good reason, but you probably don't need to hear about it. So, umm thanks to all who reviewed, replies as usual. And do not worry; there should not be such a wait for the next chapter, no more than a week. Besides, exams are over. Anyway, on with the chapter.

**Chapter Seventeen**

_Julius didn't know what to say_.

He just had to let her fight.

'Fine, but be careful.'

This last statement of Julius' nearly threw Holly. Of all the things she had been expecting him to say that certainly hadn't been one of them. She nearly echoed the statement. She didn't want Julius to get hurt. She had realised only that morning how much she cared about him. She knew, however, that he would never, could never, care about her in that way. She was his officer; this was an assignment, nothing more. She was stupid to think that her Commander could have feelings for her outside the care he had for as an officer.

They both stood there for a second, savouring the feeling of the kisses, feeling the love that had radiated between them once more, though neither knew that the other loved them. In that second a blast flew towards Julius. Holly saw this and threw herself into him, knocking him from the blast's path. It narrowly missed them both, well, almost missed them. Holly's hair was singed. Not that she cared.

'Thank you,' said a breathless Julius.

'No problem,' replied Holly as she helped him to his feet.

The Retrieval team had finished with almost all the offenders in the room while Holly and Julius had been debating whether Holly would fight or not, but there was still a good hundred left. Mere stress relief. .There had been no injuries of any LEP officers. This assignment was a good one, the mission was going well. Trouble stood curiously watching the conversation going on between Holly and Julius. Both were shooting offenders over their shoulders but didn't seem to be paying much attention. They were both staring at each other, with looks in their eyes that suggested they loved each other. "That couldn't possibly be the case" thought Trouble desperately. He didn't know if he wanted his sister to be in love with anyone. Over the short period of time he had known Holly as his sister he had become fiercely protective of her, and he definitely did not want anything happening to Holly. Her being in love with the Commander worried him… if the Commander hurt her… he clenched his fists

Then again, maybe he was just imagining it, and he wanted Holly to be in love with someone, so he could demonstrate how much he cared about her… Trouble decided to get away from the train of thought he was going along at that point in time, he would probably drive himself crazy. Not a good thing in the middle of a mission. Besides, Holly was so fiercely independent and would NOT approve of him being protective of her.

Trouble's heart rate quickened as he watched Holly push Julius out of the way of a shot he hadn't noticed. He decided to head over there. They were certain to need backup the way they were acting.

A collective gasp went around the room, even though the officers were supposed to be working on incapacitating the offenders, not watching their senior offices converse. The "guy who they had met yesterday" had jumped onto Holly's back while she was helping Julius stand up.

Julius couldn't contain himself; he felt something constrict in his chest and he yelled 'HOLLY!' before he realised what he was doing. Although it was not much use made him feel better. Trouble was now running towards his sister.

Holly was by now attempting to fight the guy off, naturally. She would have managed it too, if she hadn't been wearing the dress. It put her ever so slightly off balance and the guy managed to knock her to the ground.

Julius was panicking, something he never normally did. He knew he should have been more forceful about getting Holly out of the room due to the fact she was wearing a dress.

As though in slow motion Julius and Trouble watched as Holly lost her balance ever so slightly when her leg couldn't move as far as it could in her LEP uniform. The guy took advantage of this to knock her to the ground. A resounding metallic "clunk" reverberated around the room as Holly's head hit the corner of a heavy metal crate. She passed out instantly.

All conscious members of the room let out an audible gasp. All conscious members of the room consisted of the LEP, the offenders were now all unconscious, the "guy who they had met yesterday" now being in a deep sleep as Julius and Trouble had both hit him in the back with a high setting charge as soon as he had knocked Holly over. So he might loose a few brain cells, alright, heaps of brain cells, so what? He would spend the rest of his life in Howler's Peak anyway.

Trouble couldn't contain his anger anymore. He exploded at Julius.

'HOW COULD YOU LET HER STAY HERE WHEN SHE WAS AT AN OBVIOUS DISADVANTAGE? IN A DRESS!' Something in the back of his mind reminded him that he shouldn't be yelling at his superior officer, but he ignored it.

'Trouble, believe me, I tried to get her to leave. She wouldn't. Can we just concentrate on her now?'

Trouble just nodded. In his anger he had nearly forgotten about his sister.

'Holly!' said Julius as he stepped towards her. He unceremoniously threw the unconscious form of the guy off of her. She was lying there, totally unconscious. She would have a concussion from this, and a concussion was one of those things that couldn't be healed by magic.

Her own blue sparks were already playing about the cut on the back of her head, which disappeared in a few seconds.

Julius laid her head on his knees gently. Holly stirred, but did not wake up; a smile seemed to play on her lips. Commander Root looked like he was holding in a grin as well. He turned to Trouble.

'Get Police vehicles for the perps. Take them to jail to await trial. Get me a LEP ambulance for Holly. We should get her to the Police hospital ASAP. She obviously has a concussion. I'll stay with her.'

Trouble nodded, 'Yes sir,' and left to do his tasks.

Julius sat there holding Holly. He wasn't sure how long he was sitting there. All he knew was that the entire time was filled with worry for her. Technically, he should have been doing what he had told Trouble to do, but that was what he was in command for, so he could tell other people to do his work.

A/N: rereading this, it seems a little rushed. Sorry if it is. Please review.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything owned by Eoin Colfer or anything to do with the Artemis Fowl books or anything like that. I only own what I own/made up/created/ thought of. Got it?

**WARNING: **any part of this story from this point forwards (and probably some before it) may contain OOCness. I'm sorry, but I couldn't make it work any other way.

A/N: Umm, hi to anyone who is reading this. I should probably be crawling under a rock, or behind something large about now, because I promised to update, and I didn't. I'm going to keep this note to a minimum, and explain a little at the end of the chapter.

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

Trouble approached him followed by two medics carrying a stretcher.

'If we can ask you to put her on here sir, we can take her to the ambulance.'

Julius nodded and lifted Holly gently onto the stretcher. Trouble noticed the care with which he did so.

Julius went in the ambulance with Holly. He cared so much for her. How could he let this happen to her?

Holly was rushed into the hospital when they arrived and Julius was left to sit on the horrible plastic waiting chairs to find out her fate. He was joined shortly after by Trouble. The two males sat on the chairs, waiting for a good hour to find out the fate of a female they both cared about for different reasons.

Time seemed to stretch indefinitely, the clock seemed to go forwards, then decide against it, and turn backwards. Hunger seemed to pluck at their stomachs, yet to eat food would have made them throw up. An aching pain seemed to compress their diaphragms, making it so they could hardly breathe. Even the funniest circumstances didn't seem so funny. An orderly loosing control of a food trolled and landing head first in a plate of mashed potato just wasn't funny. Holly was… well, injured.

Finally a medic emerged from one of the rooms.

'She's awake. You can go in and see her.'

The two men stood up instantly and in unison. They entered the room to see Holly lying serenely on a hospital bed, still in her wedding dress, which wasn't exactly white anymore, more like white with red polka-dots.

'We've given her medicine to relieve the symptoms of the concussion, but she's still going to be a bit dizzy and the such for a while, there's nothing we can do about that.'

'Hey Holly,' said Julius, 'how are you?'

'I'll live,' she replied, smiling at Julius, as though she was genuinely happy to see him. As though through general consensus they had decided to stop hiding it. It was pointless anyway, when it was so obvious to everyone.

Trouble was shocked. He had just realised that they had fallen for each other big time. His sister and his Commander. Could this day get any odder?

He swallowed his thoughts and said, 'Hi Holly.'

Holly looked so pleased to see him, but in a different way, 'Hey Trouble.'

There was an awkward silence in the room. Both Julius and Holly had realised that Trouble had realised that they had realised they loved each other, they were all very confused.

'Well,' announced Holly, struggling into a sitting position, 'I'm going home, got to get out of this dress.'

Julius looked as though he wanted to push her back down, to keep her in the safe hospital bed, but he refrained.

She made to stand up but Julius pushed her back onto the bed, he really didn't want her to hurt herself further. He cared about her as his officer, and, although he was still trying to deny it (and failing dismally) as something more. Trouble was surprised that Holly didn't bite the Commander's head off.

'Is she OK to go home?' he called to the medic how just happened to be only duty just outside Holly's room. The medic entered slowly, glancing at the various monitors behind Holly.

'She should be fine, but she must have constant supervision. She can't go home alone.'

'I'm not staying here.'

'Holly, you can come home with me,' offered Julius before he knew what he was saying. Was he offering that Holly could come home with him? Was he declaring his love to the entire room? Even there were only four people present. He was sure Foaly would have cameras and would be taping this for the entire LEP to see.

Holy was surprised. She wanted to go home, to get out of the dress, and the medic said she couldn't go alone. She was angry about that. What she was surprised about was that Julius had said she could go home with him. Not that she wasn't pleased; she had fallen in love with him after all.

'That's settled then,' said the medic as he handed Holly her discharge papers. Neither of them were going to get out of this, Holly was legendary for doing everything that the medics told her not to do, in fact, she was legendary for doing everything that anyone told her not to do. The only person that could control her really was Commander Root, and even he didn't succeed all of the time. However, if he was willing to have a try at stopping Holly from causing herself more damage, and Holly was willing to consent, the medic was going to get them out of there before she caused more problems. The particular medic had been assigned Holly's case because she was the sort that was always trying to get out of hospital before she was discharged, and this particular medic was considered extremely tough and they thought he could handle Holly. No one could, really.

Holly half-grinned, 'It's not like I've got anything to take with me. All I came in with was this _dress,' _she said, being sure to put a lot of sarcasm into her voice with the last word.

'Sorry we have to walk.'

'It's cool. I needed some night air.'

Julius wasn't sure what made him do it. It just seemed right. Slowly, he snaked his arm around Holly's waist. She didn't stiffen. She just relaxed into his arm. They walked like that in silence. They were actually acting like a real couple. And they were actually themselves. It felt… right.

Holly finally voiced the concern that was residing at the back of both of their minds.

'What happens when the entire LEP finds out?'

'Does it matter? What matters is I love you Holly.'

'I love you too Julius.'

They had by now reached the entrance to Julius' house. Having declared their love they stepped towards each other. They wrapped their arms around each other and passionately kissed. It was their first kiss as Holly and Julius, and it felt right.

When they broke apart Julius got down on one knee.

'Holly Short, will you marry me?'

'Yes!' replied Holly.

_THE END!_

A/N: that's the end of the story. It's been great fun writing it. For those of you who ask nicely there might be an epilogue. Maybe. Thanks to everyone who I should thank. Au revoir.

See the above? That's what I wrote when I finished writing the chapter. For some reason, having replied to reviews and written the note at the top (and, admittedly, scrolled down the page) I have a couple of things to add.

OK, well, I have some reasons for not updating, but I highly doubt anyone wants to hear (read) them. So I'm just going to apologise, profusely. At least it's highly likely not to happen again, unless I decide to write an epilogue.

One thing I want to do is thank everyone who has reviewed my story, and who has helped boost my review count to the amazing number it is at now. More reviews than I could ever have asked for. I thank everyone. I would have followed my tradition and replied at the end of the chapter, but it would appear that is illegal now, so I sent out review replies to all signed reviews. For anonymous reviews, I would have replied, and will reply for this chapter, if the reviewer feels so inclined as to leave a valid email address.

Now, about this being the end. Yes, it is the end, currently. I'm considering writing an epilogue, but I don't know if it is in the best interests of the story. Anyone who feels like leaving an opinion, please do in a review. Or email me. You can find my email on my user page thingy. I'm not planning on a sequel anytime soon, but who knows, maybe one day.

Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed throughout the duration of this story.


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